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i hatehatehate myself right now. i try, and i never ever seem to be able to succeed anymore. where did all my will power and determination go? i was just start to regularly lose weight. i had lost fifty pounds. and then for some reason i think i'm okay and i gain it back. and i know the only way i can stay focused is by posting and reading through ( Read more... ) -
keep on keepin' on
i woke up about an hour ago, and i've been reading through lj journals since. i'm such a dork, haha.
right now, i'm drinking cranberry pomegranate green tea, and wishing i had something other than real sugar to sweeten it with. also, i'm trying to ignore the pancakes my mom made for me before she left this morning. grrr I HATE FOOD!!!
i'm not sure ( Read more... ) -
somethings gotta give
i'm sick of being fat. that's about it. it's going to change. i don't know why i can't just not eat. i've done it before. i lost 80 pounds before. but even right now, when i'm feeling this low, i'm going back and forth between binging and purging and not eating at all. i don't know what my problem is. i know it's pointless. once again... i'm so ( Read more... ) -
something's gotta change, thing's cannot stay the same
so i've lost one pound. i just haven't been able to stick to this. everytime i start thinking, "okay, this really has gone too far. do you want to be disgusting?", i'll be able to control myself for a while. but it's like i go to sleep, and when i wake up all that determination is gone. i am always able to rationalize my binging to myself, and i ( Read more... ) -
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1: Do you have any big secrets? most definitely.
2: Do you think the last person you kissed is nice? yes, i would say so =)
3: Who was the last person to call you? treavor drew
4: What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had? just regular water.
5: Would you take any of your exes back? NO.
6: Would you consider yourself to be spoiled? not especially.
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It All Comes Back Around...
I shouldn't be feeling somewhat happy about this stuff happening to him. I dated him, and he fucked me over. Big time. ((twice)). But for some reason (largely masochism, i'm supposing) i've kept tabs on him through myspace. I've looked and read on as this undeserving dickhead fucker's life fell happily in to place. Good job, new apartment, new ( Read more... ) -
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So i've recently moved back home, and that means I have daily access to a computer, which is very very nice. It's been a rough transition, though. My dog is freaking out, she's not used to living at my mom's house. It seems like everyone's just a little on edge, but hopefully the atmosphere relaxes soon. My moving back in hasn't been easy on ( Read more... ) -
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I'm back! Not that there's too many people who read this, but it feels nice to be updating anyway. After five months. Jeez, i suck at this game. But i no longer have daily access to a computer (actually, not even weekly access to a computer), so that's why my updates have been even fewer and far between than they normally are.
To start ( Read more... ) -
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i'm semi-proud of myself today. for the past two or three weeks, every morning when i woke up the first thing i did was b/p. and then i would do it again two or three more times throughout the day, and then it was usually the last thing i did before i went to sleep. it's been terrible, to say the least. but today, i've kept my self from ( Read more... ) -
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Like I've said before, my updates are few and far between because I feel that I have nothing to write about. Truth is, most times I do have a lot I would like to write about, but don't know how to say it, and therefore don't. I'm going to try to be better about that, haha ( Read more... )