I hate everyone.

Yes, I'm alive.
No, I don't want to be.

What have I become?

I had so much potential.

At 13, I stole boyfriends.

At 17, my boyfriend stole me.

At 18, I gave him away.

At 19, I stole a boyfriend.

At 20, a boyfriend stole me.

Due to a foreign strain of the flu that I, Puja V. Trivedi, catcher of all illnesses did not catch, I've managed to get an extended vacation from work by asking for medication to prevent this H1N1 virus.

I've been banned.

What have I done with all of this time?

I threw my life away.

I have finally come to terms with the fact that my ever-changing lifestyle will eventually cause my demise.

I hope the fruit of your loins resembles that of a skunk mating with a horseshoe crab.

Ugh, in the land of Dietary Aides, the longest record anyone holds for not pissing off Puja is 30 seconds.

my life.

I have never been happier than I am right now.

I'm not even thinking of my financial situation.

or my education situation.

or my job situation.

or my addiction situation.

All of these things don't matter because I have the one thing that matters most.