14 [Written]

[4000excuses]

Even after all this time it is strange to me that Luceti has no economy. It is unthinkable in my country to have a country or city, or rather a commune as I believe we could be classified, without a system of economy. I suppose it would mean less colds, but-First, let me thank all of those who participated in my call for autographs in my last

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[semper_cogitans]

[The filtering is mostly precautionary, though the question itself might be a little embarrassing. Still, Robert is certainly curious.]

The economic state of Luceti affects your health, Mr. Japan?

Also, in terms of obtaining electronics - unfortunately, it is mostly true. Sometimes the Malnosso are cooperative - for example, I was allowed to obtain my nanocomputer from home - but more often than not, it is likely that they would refuse such a request. You could attempt to ask, though.

Or I could ask for you, if you had anything in mind. [It'd give him an excuse to talk to Molly...]

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[4000excuses]

...That is an admirable wish, Hastings-sensei.

But a dangerous one. Please be careful in your quest for strength.

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[semper_cogitans]

Many people wish to help me.

I simply do not want my friends to be at risk anymore. I have allowed somebody to die because of my inaction - I cannot allow it again.

Even if I would be arrested for this at home.

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[4000excuses]

If that is the path you chose, then I cannot change your mind.

Just be careful of what it brings.

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[semper_cogitans]

[Robert's writing goes shaky now. He understands what Japan is implying for once in his life.]

I will never become a murderer. I am a Terran.

[Even so, he wavers. Learning to defend himself alone makes him feel like a monster.

But he can't let his friends die.]

Don told me that fighting can have ethics, sometimes. There is a difference between fighting for the sake of it and fighting to protect others at least I think

[He trails off then, and bites his lip hard. Rationalizing this decision isn't easy, even now. Much of him still wants to stay out of fighting...]

If somebody dies because I do nothing, then is that more ethical than choosing not to fight?

Terrans would say yes. But Luceti is different.

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[4000excuses]

That is a difficult question, Hastings-sensei.

There is a difference, yes. It does make a difference to the one who must strike the blow. Which is more ethical is, of course, the choice to help rather than to stand idly by.

[But to fight here means to kill. There is no mercy. And Japan will always be afraid of the desire to be stronger because it is what set him on the path to Imperialism.]

This is a question that must be debated upon carefully.

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[semper_cogitans]

[Robert is the type to give mercy, though, save times when cold, hard rationality punches through his ethics. Which, until now, would probably have been never.

... He's afraid of what this means to him as a Terran, too. A small part of him remembers what Giles said about killing and the way he said it and it scares him because he doesn't want to picture that even being possible. Especially not for him.]

Luceti has made me ask many difficult questions. I presume this is far from the last.

I understand if this mindset is problematic to you. it frightens me I don't want to be a monster am I really a Terran anymore

[He stops trying to write and just... draws in a deep breath, at that.]

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[4000excuses]

It is simply my wish that you do not change your ways, Hastings-sensei. Pacifism is difficult to maintain and I find your dedication to it admirable.

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[semper_cogitans]

I do not think I will lose my pacifism entirely. Fighting is still not acceptable as a solution to problems, in and of itself.

[If it was Robert's decision, he wouldn't use it at all.]

I will only fight, assuming I do accept the training, if I absolutely must. [Even writing that was hard and it took him forever and he almost hurts reading it. But at the same time...]

At the very least, I should learn how to react properly to combat.

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[4000excuses]

Noncombatants should stay indoors, away from combat. That is the proper reaction.

Ah, but this is only my opinion. I am sorry, Hastings-sensei. This is not a subject we should discuss.

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[semper_cogitans]

I understand how you feel that way. It is how I still feel, even now.

If people would not die to protect me, I would see no reason to fight at all. If only I was the one being affected, there would be no issue. Terrans are supposed to die instead of fight.

But - if this topic bothers you, then I can discuss something else. You are one of the few people that feels this way

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[4000excuses]

The topic does not bother me, Hastings-sensei. You are not my citizen, but I still worry for your safety.

Unlike humans, nations cannot die. But our wars cause suffering. We know better than most how it can be to wish to fight to protect and bring nothing but misery instead. I would not wish that upon you.

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[semper_cogitans]

[In a strange, sentimental way, that's sweet, that Japan cares for him like he cares for his citizens.]

I would not wish it upon anyone.

But you are correct. Fighting needlessly would lead to situations like that. It would be the very last thing I would do, if I did so at all, and only against those like Kusanagi who could not be reasoned with.

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[4000excuses]

If I may make a suggestion, Hastings-sensei? Sticking to self defense might be wiser than trying to suddenly learn offensive attacks.

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[semper_cogitans]

I suppose I meant more self-defense than offense, though in my case they tend very much to be the same thing. [Since he ends up being too weak to defend anybody besides himself, anyway.]

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[4000excuses]

There are ways to defend and disable your opponent without dealing permanent or fatal damage. Do you have a teacher yet?