Shame

[4bit4]

I was thinking about shame the other day and it really hit me just how full of shame our whole culture is. It's not particularly surprising to me that we have this air of shame that surrounds us, it's just how pervasive it is to everything. I certainly feel like there's a place for shame. There are some shameful things that people do, but existing

Comments

[phaedie]

you are pretty wonderful and this was a pleasure to read, thanks for posting it.
woke up from a dream laughing and going back to sleep with a crinkle eyes smile,  currently one half of my things don't suck too hard you are responsible for.

[4bit4]

well thank you. I'm glad it doesn't just sound like random babbling.

[hst_girl]

True! Our egos are good at shaming us - we don't need anyone else to do it for us, that's for sure.

The funny thing is, to me, that when someone pours their heart out and lets their true self come out, people tend to admire it and (though I could be speaking only of more mature individuals - I don't really know) feel more respect for the person - even envious of their bravery.

I wish things were not so difficult. I've habitualized myself into believing most people are thinking bad things about me and judging me just for being me so much so that it's become a disorder, so this entry really speaks to me.

I wish so much to just spill myself out and feel no need to apologize for what anyone may think - I wish I didn't care.

I want to say more but I gotta go!

Thanks for sharing this - you rock.

<3 M.

[4bit4]

I think there's this weird imaginary line that exists somewhere that divides the people who want to boost you up and the people who want to tear you down. It's amazing that we can have a group of people applaud someone for standing up for themselves while a whole other group may condemn them. As trite as this reference is, I truly believe that Phantom Menace had it right, "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hated and hatred leads to suffering." There's always something that person or group of people feel is at stake when they feel the need to shame you.

Like I said, I wish I had as many answers as questions. I'm just going to do my best to do things that I think are right and not be ashamed of them or worry that some other group will try to shame me about them. I think the more we all do that, the better it's gotta get.

[nzraya]

These are great lists. OMG. I instinctively counter shame by burying my ostrich head in the sand of my nice secure relationship (someone loves me even though I am a total loser/spazz!) so whenever any of the bazillionty things on my "shame" list rise to the surface of my memory I'm all "Mr Raya I love you!!" haha.

Ugh, I have so much dumb shit I've done in my life that makes me squirm inside, but you're right that I should at least dump the shame about the things that really aren't squirmworthy, like times I was sincere instead of "cool." Thanks man, this post made me think!

[4bit4]

I totally think that's the key to getting over shame. When you have something in your life that you're completely confident about, it gives you that perspective that you need when taking other input into account. I feel the same way about Sunny. I know that our life together is just that, our life together. There's really no separating it. In how I relate to Sunny and how she relates to me, I see my own value. Thanks for appreciating what I had to say. It's nice when I'm sitting there thinking about something way too much that someone else ends up thinking about it too and is happy about that.

[lexibadger]

I like this post, it's making my brainmeats move and stuff.

I feel like while religion has a lot to be blamed for, a lot of the crappy shit that goes along with religion might just be a by-product of shame society. I dunno, I guess it's hard to say. We've been at it so long that it's like it just comes natural, sadly. (I mean "we" as in humans if that wasn't clear, heh.)

Oh god, you are not kidding re: cosplaying. No fandom is safe, there's always gonna be a bunch of assholes telling you you're loving the thing you love wrong.

Also wanted to add, omg it is SO fucking annoying when someone makes fun of the music you like holy shit. SO WHAT MAYBE I WANNA LISTEN TO "MMMBOP" COME AT ME BRO! lol

[4bit4]

It really is just this weird cycle that everything has institutionally bought into and it sucks. I'm just done with it.

That being said, and talking about cosplay, if I fail to pull off River Song for halloween, I'm going as Walter White's garage from breaking bad (which is only funny if you watch the show) . . .

[retention]

I like this post.

I didn't know you considered yourself bisexual, and also didn't know there was something called Chicken Invaders. Thumbs up on both counts.

There's a lot more I could say, but will leave it at that for now. :)

[4bit4]

Yeah, I've been pretty well out for 20ish years. It's just not all that relevant since I'm in a monogamous relationship. Doesn't come up all that often lol.

And I just discovered Chicken Invaders while writing that post. It's pretty dumb, but it makes me happy.