TRACK 001 --- call the mainland from the beach

[666doc]

Hnnngh. Sweet Satan's tits. What's all this, then? Must've been some helluva show... hangover ain't even that bad. Just the average ordinary migraine. Ergh--guuuh. RIGHT.

HULLO there, ladies and germs! Murdoc Niccals here. You know. That one bassist from that one band. Or more specifically, the most notoriously BRILLIANT bassist in history

Comments

[Phone] The only appropriate way to respond.

[asswhisperer]

Are we having phone sex or not?

[ fone forever ]

[666doc]

That depends on an array of circumstances. INCLUDING but not limited to:

What you tell me you look like.

AND...

Uhhh. Actually. That's about it.

[ fone forever ]

[asswhisperer]

Picture Gerard Butler and you're close.

I'm what you'd call an unstoppable Man-God.

[666doc]

Mmm. Not bad not bad.

Except. There can only be one Man-God and that is most certainly me.

[crusthatecean]

It's an audio hook, no one can see you. And no one can bring themselves to care.

[666doc]

Yet here you are. Responding to me.

[crusthatecean]

I know. I guess someone had to take the bullet.

A delegation was assembled and through the human process of democracy, I was chosen as the official representative given the urgent task of informing you that we don't care.

[666doc]

Human process, hmm?

Oh. I like that one. Eloquently worded or, errr... somethin'.

Let's keep this conversation going. Since you apparently care enough and uhuh, who wouldn't. I am who I am. A NATIONAL CELEBRITY.

Ever participated in a mosh pit?

[notsaul]

... So, are you, like, one of the Beatles or some shit.

[666doc]

... Wot?

[notsaul]

I bet you're one of the ones they don't talk about. Like maybe you're the one that, like, fucking died and they replaced you with a robot or some shit.

Are you a robot?

[666doc]

What what what?! No, that isn't true at all!

We're the Gorillaz! I'm the Gorillaz! It's my whopping thirty-stone chest-bursting baby!

[guitarslaying]

Let's see, Niccols, Niccols.....

Nope.

Doesn't ring a bell.

[666doc]

Fantastic liar.

Almost had me convinced there for a second.

[guitarslaying]

No seriously are you like....the bassist for The Moody Blues or something?

Because that's the only reason I can think I wouldn't know or care who you are if you're in a band.

[666doc]

Clint Warwick? Do I sound like a bloody Brummie to you?!

NO.

The Gorillaz, you lousy degenerate---hururrgh.

[ slur of incoherent grumbling goes here ]

[foretastes]

Pissing flea infested monkeys?!

[wow she likes your metaphors.]

[666doc]

Yep. An expression I'm well learned in.

[foretastes]

Why? Have you ever met one? Oooooooh, did it piss on you?

[SO POLITE]

[666doc]

Are you asking if a monkey's ever pissed on me? As in, urinated on me?