do you ever wish things would just go the way that you think would make you happy?

would you really be happy? would you want something different?

right now I"m struggling with just being content where I am.

i'm not sure why.

I live better than most.

this is life I guess.

it's so different than I thought it would be.

I go to work every day. I clock in ( Read more... )

so I got home just a bit ago. me and jen and jamie went over to the alone boys house tonight. it was. amazing. so much laughter. so much fun. and so much drunk jeff. haha. he's seriously one of the funniest drunks I know. dude....last night we hung out with them too.......jeff totally got going on the idea that we were gonna go kick the lead singer ( Read more... )

I'm not a huge fan of thanksgiving....and it's not that I"m not thankful....I just don't like the concept....esspecially when it's at my aunt's house...we always get separated from the rest of the fam...but whatever. but I drove all the way to shores for the occasion. I took the new lil camera. here's a few photos.


( Read more... )

why hope? for this anyway. I hope for alot of things.....but why should I hope for this? it will never happen.....I may as well place these stupid feelings toward jared leto. psht.....wait.....bad example....uhhh.....sorry. anyway....you get my point. they are stupid. misguided feelings that are obviously not returned. so there's no point in hoping ( Read more... )

and then for the first time...it was.

all weekend. every time my phone rang. every time ANYTHING happend on myspace. my heart just about dropped out of my body.

today. I got a message on myspace.

and since it'd been 3 days. I told myself it wasn't what I wished it to be. and there was no reason for my heart to attempt to leave my body.

and then I ( Read more... )

so. this weekend. was pretty much amazing. actually. pretty much amazing. doesn't even cover half of it. or a third. or a fourth. but what ever. you get the point. it was an amazing weekend. friday. I hung out with my friend tasha. who i'd not seen in months.....even though we live litterally minutes[like 15] away from eachother.....we went to high ( Read more... )

I"m so fucking dumb ( Read more... )

So I thought I"d run though and update my "the bands I've seen live" list....just cause I can.

the graze. edyson. superchic[k]. earthsuit. third Day. lincoln brewster band. audio adrenelin. jeremy camp. dc talk. by the tree. newsboys. zoegirl. mute math. the benjamin gate. falling up. mere image. project86. skillet. jars of clay. toby mac. relient ( Read more... )

So today.

as in like 2-3 hours ago..

...I found out....

that my last day at work is..

....well.....

TOMORROW.

I am not emotionally prepared to deal with leaving people I have spent 40 hours a week with for the past 10.5 months TOMORROW. while this is a very good thing for me...I'll be doing what I went to school to do.....and I"ll be making ( Read more... )

....*sigh*....

I'm tired of things not staying.

I was listening to a band that no longer exists.

[seems to be the trend lately.....='(.....]

my 'home' doesn't exist.

my 'friends' don't exist.

what DOES currently exist??

and while some of these things actually DO....exist....they don't really in my world.  those people still exist somewhere in the ( Read more... )