I've only recently started using this LiveJournal again and the three entries I've posted are depressing. I'm embarrassed. I feel like I might have to make a new one or stick to using my old tumblr if I can remember the username and password. These things will be figured out, I'm sure, at 3am when I'm about to fall asleep. Just like all of the ( Read more... )

There are a thousand things a person could do to break someone's heart. He could do all of these and I'd stay in tact. He could ask me to be his girlfriend and then cheat on me. He could dump me on our anniversary. He could make me blush with the back of his hand ( Read more... )

My mouth tastes like the inside of his apartment. I always fall for the pothead and I always think it's gross. I always say, "the smell grosses me out." And yet, here I am- forty-five minutes late on curfew and doused in febreze. This is technically my second time smoking, and I'm still not high. I feel dirty and unhealthy ( Read more... )

In one half hour, I have to get showered and ready for work. I'll have to scrub my skin and soak my hair in shampoo and conditioner. I'll have to rinse and dry myself off and shake my long brown hair out in a towel. Then it's twenty spritzes of frizz control and a few quick slicks of deodorant. Depending on the amount of time standing between me ( Read more... )

keep posting your nasty anonymous comments and then tell ME that I'm the one who needs to gain some self-respect, because obviously I'm the one with the problem in this situation.

in other news, these two months won't fly by fast enough.

Im writing this while I'm durkn because I feel like my big heart will never be enough for soeme people and it'sa all I have o give anymore. I dontkn ow what else to do. these big walls feel like a prison and I'll never get out. I dontknwow were else t go. even if i go to a anaenw school it'll still leave big scars o mn my big fat heartss,s,ss.

I don't feel like I have a home anymore. When I'm at Rowan I feel completely out of place. When I'm at home, my parents barely acknowledge my presence. And when I'm at work, I find myself feeling so angry toward my co-workers. They whine and moan as if Wegmans is their life. They take their jobs so seriously and I wonder if they even realize that ( Read more... )

I am completely devoid of emotion. Something broke me between the sheets, back when I gave my love away like some sort of pseudo-insurance. It feels like my bones are hollow and affection only makes me sink deeper into my own skin. I know that these are defenses, but I don't know how I'm supposed to control them ( Read more... )

When this all started I was a prayer ( Read more... )

To everyone who thinks I'm lucky when in reality I was just more careful with my decisions ( Read more... )