i'm changing
so this is changing.

no more memories.


( Read more... )

i'm stuck, i guess.
it never fails that every time something brand new starts
something new and wonderful and relieving
everything starts falling apart
especially when it comes to my "best friends"
& i seriously don't get it.

lately it's like all of a sudden we're not as close as we used to be.
any of us.
one second i'm your best friend and the ( Read more... )

since yesterday i've had this weird feeling ( Read more... )

yesterday
i was sitting on my bed
folding and unfolding every single letter he ever wrote to me
ripping them to pieces and placing them carefully back in "our bag"
& it occurred to me
that it was the first time i had looked at our memories
& didn't cry.

& then something else occurred to me.
i spend too much of my time claiming i'm in love.in all ( Read more... )

yesterday was our day.
yesterday morning, at 12:23 am, it marked our one year.
twelve months.
365 days happy together.

but we weren't really happy.yesterday i was sitting next to him ( Read more... )

so i was comparing last year's spring break to this year's
& realized how much things have changed since then.
& i've also realized how much i have changed since then ( Read more... )

i'm scared to feel like this.
terrified
hands shaking
heart racing
palms sweating
scared.

i dont know what to do.

just so i can get this off my chest
i'm sorry.

i love seeing you
& kissing you
& hugging you
& being with you
& holding your hand
& just everything.
i love the way you make me feel.i'm not used to this ( Read more... )

just when i thought i was getting better
i'm back to square one.

whats wrong with me?

exactly 20 days from now it would have been one year.

but you know what?
i just don't care.
about us
about you
about our anniversary
about anything.

i've moved on.
i'm over you.
i'm not in love with you
& maybe i never was
maybe it was lust & never love.

but im glad we're over
i'm glad you're gone.
& most of all
i'm happy
that im going to be