it's what i needed.
somewhat.

looking at you
talking to you
being with you
made me want to cry.

this time, i said.
this time, this one time
i will be strong.
i will close my eyes
& block you out
& be strong.

but i was weak.

wednesday
i made a decision
with or without you
i will be okay.this time, i said ( Read more... )

i think i might get a new journal.
to forget some of the memories i have in here.

maybe.
i dont know.

this hurts a lot
more than i expected.

& as soon as those words were spoken ( Read more... )

"it's a long drive from here...but without you holding my hand it might take even longer.

4 hrs. later or so i'm still thinking about how you used to make me smile. =\"Three years ago ( Read more... )

i feel like lately we've been the best we've ever been
but i feel like lately we've been the worst we've ever been.

im sick
& i've barely talked to you all wbeek.
i've lost i dont know how many pounds and its disgusting
& you dont really care
youre worried that im not better
but...

i just miss talking to you.
ugh

i just bother everybody. i want everything to just calm itself down. i'm sick of all it. it's always my fault. my fault, my fault, my fault. because i mess up. i take the blame for everything. & all they do is bitch and moan and complain about every single little thing i do when really, it's no big deal. i want out ( Read more... )

it was slow ( Read more... )

&& i can feel us fading;;

i think last night showed
that as much as i doubt you
i really shouldn't.

god, i'm sorry.

i was shaking
my hands, my arms, my legs, my shoulders
it seemed every part of my body was shaking.

& it's only when i'm scared.
heart stopping, breath taking, palms sweaty, shut everything out
scared.it was the same; it was routine ( Read more... )