neonxbright stalk my thoughts

( Read more... )

you know what. this is fucked up. this entire fucking thing is fucked up. the fcd guy, or something like that, came to school and he was talking and giving us this speech. and it was great. but its hard to put that concept and understanding into action. i know that im most likely making it harder on my self by telling this to me over and over again ( Read more... )

i take these pills to keep my mood steady. but it doesnt work. it keeps me in this set mood that restricts me from feeling happy or sad. i cant really smile in a genuine way. i get sad but not enough to cry. its fucking horrible. i mean i guess its a good thing, it depends on how you look at shit.

i dont think theres a chance. shes into this other guy. shes been into him for a while. like before the long weekend. she probably sees me as some recovering addict. or a bad influence. or just some fucking addict for all i know. isnt that sad? i think its sad. theres nothing going on here tonight. and im bored out of my mind. i dont really have ( Read more... )

what ever happened to that good life

i try to be nice and all i get in return is "youre a bitch". what the fuck right? theyre probably joking. thats what people do. but i hope they fucking know that its killing me inside. everytime i hear shit like that i just drag my self down with it. its a bad habbit.

i cant fucking live like this forever

i dont know why but life is so much better these days. i dont know why. i just dont understand it. it seems like everything is going my way. and i mean everything.

theres this new girl in my life. and shes just great. she was always there but i guess i just noticed her.

life is just so good. i wish itll be like this for a really long time

parents weekend was awsome. i had quite the blast. the food was good. almost everything was good.

my shoelace fell off today. thats sad.

i tried to call heather today but i guess my phone card had no more minutes. so i couldnt call her. its almost 10:30 and she hasnt called me so i guess ill wait for tomorrow.

i dont know whats wrong. but its not right. i know that things arent right but i tell myself that its ok. but then i get reminded every single fucking day that its not right. what im doing is not right. how im thinking is not right. if shits going to be like this why the fuck am i still breathing? dont you ever think like that? maybe its just me ( Read more... )

life is a very complicated thing. i dont know what to say. people care about me. and thats a great thing. and they dont want me to make mistakes. but all i want to do is drugs. well thats not ALL that i want to do. but i want to do drugs. unfortunately, none of my friends approve that. well not none, but the majority. especially my new interest. i ( Read more... )