its great to know that people care about me. and i understand that some of the decisions i make hurt them. and i can argue for both ways. and im not even going to start on that ( Read more... )

yesterday i got drug tested. and i tried coke for the first time. i had a good amount of it through out the day. and i just have the feeling that i love it. only a few people know about this. and im going to keep it at that. so who ever reads it on here just keep it to your self. if i need help ill go ask for it ( Read more... )

the past week was pretty nice. i guess. i wasnt caught up in anything super emotional. i made out with this girl from intermurals. i drank some. got my meds changed up a little. didnt go to n.a. got a hold of my friend in york. been drawing. my skateboardings coming back to me. i got a new rug today. i got a phone too. i talked to my dad just now. ( Read more... )

the people she hangs out with just ruins my whole plan. matts cool. jeremy can be alright but i dont like to hang out with him. stiff necks an alright guy but i dont like to hang out with him. jeffs ok i guess. i thought he was lame but hes ok. i think thats it for the people she hangs out with ( Read more... )

this weekend was probably the best one in years. well atleast thats what it felt like ( Read more... )

mood swings. i hate mood swings. i want to blame them for all the bad things that happened to me. and maybe they are the cause of it. i cant prove that ( Read more... )

i havent felt like this in what seems to be like forever. i feel so alive. i havent talked to that girl all day today but that doesnt matter. i feel pretty good right now at least. the entire day wasnt good. like before 3 atleast. but once school was out it was great. i went to sports and ran a little. i skipped sit down dinner and ate at burger ( Read more... )

today sucked. i felt like dying from 3:07p.m. to 6:50p.m. it was horrible. i talked to my therapist here and thats when it got pretty bad. i couldnt do my math homework because i didnt understand it. i went to the band room and screamed one line. and that was it. it seems like something just crept up to me and sucked out my motivation ( Read more... )

the date never happened. shes sick. its lame. and theres this dance going on. and thats even lamer. kelsie and hillary came to visit. i went to portland with laszlo. thats really about it. i did some screaming today at the band room and got compliments ( Read more... )

so matt told me that he thinks that she likes me back. and i was talking to laszlo and he got me the courage to ask her out for dinner on saturday. and she said yes and life was fucking great. i even got on the bike for 35 minutes. then during dinner i asked her if she could help me on my history homework. and shes like yeah ill be back in 20 ( Read more... )