i did it. monday night i met up with him and told him i didn't want to see him or talk to him ever again. it halfway felt great, knowing that i finally stood up for myself. i can really start moving on now, and start taking care of myself. it also halfway felt horrible, knowing that he most likely isn't going to get help on his own, that he won ( Read more... )

here's the deal: i can't be friends with gus. after some serious reflection and analysis it's obvious that he is not good for me. in any way. he's still completely unable to deal with this, and so am i. it makes me upset to see him, it makes me upset to talk to him, it makes me upset to not talk to him or see him. he is still copping out of ( Read more... )

tonight we talked for the first time since the verbal bitch-slapping. it was alright. it was oddly normal, which i almost don't like because he still avoids talking about serious things at all costs, but i guess it's better than nothing. i've said my peace, and i made sure that i didn't do a damn thing to get in touch after last time, so he had ( Read more... )

things have been good, or at least significantly better than before. i am frustrated because i'm not at home much these days (and i'll be around even less the closer it gets to christmas), and i miss just hanging out with my room mates. they transfered me to the westlake kits cameras which is a bummer because i don't get to hang out with anne, ( Read more... )

tonight i finally got to say everything i've wanted to for the past two and a half weeks. i told him everything, especially the things i knew he wouldn't want to hear, and it was really good. i said it all, verbally bitch-slapping him all over the place and he just took it. i was expecting him to resist, to try and say he did the right thing, ( Read more... )

church is really good for me.

gus's mom called me today. she's the sweetest lady, and i'm not entirely sure why she called, but it was good to hear from her. she awkwardly addressed the fact that we're not together anymore (though i'm not sure who told her what because i doubt gus told her anything), and said something to the affect of "maybe he'll come around." i don't see ( Read more... )

i got exactly what i needed from chuck. it was definitely not what i wanted to hear, but he's right and i know it. i don't have a snowball's chance in hell. he even managed to throw in a rancid reference so i'd get it, but the difference between me and brody dalle (besides the fact that she sounds like a man and is crustier than...crust) is that ( Read more... )

i emailed chuck for advice. more out of frustration and desparation than anything else, but also because he knows gus well enough to give accurate advice. there are very few people (honestly maybe two in the world) who know him well enough to understand what he is like, what he is doing, and what he might do. chuck will at least attempt to help ( Read more... )

i got my bike back today, and returned his sweatshirt that i've been trying to avoid ever since the break-up. it was the most painfully awkward situation, and not in a way that i could laugh at. he managed to notice that i was wearing new shoes, but failed to acknowledge anything else (you know, like, the fact that he broke up with me and has ( Read more... )