booo.

i'm incredibly bipolar. Not necessarily with real manic and real depressed stages, but i'm up and down and up and down and sometimes just nowhere.

last night was so... damned surreal that i dont know what to do with it. I've never observed my little sister in that kind of social situation: with alcohol and boys and cigarettes and drunken ( Read more... )

everything seems so ugly to me right now.

its summer and days of the week do not exist but it still feels like sunday.

i have a playlist called "MTV" and its full of fallen heroes

my friends are finished with me. and i never get shotgun.

my hidden resentments make me selfish and petty

i wish my parents would get high and stop yelling

i wish ( Read more... )

sometimes i figure that all i really have anymore is the inside of my head, something predictable and controllable. But even it is a maze that i sometimes want to escape. On mushrooms, we looked around us at the room we were in and wondered if maybe we were on the inside of someone's head. That the room we were in was some guy's skull?

I dont think ( Read more... )

...she said oh baby i feel so down oh it turns me off when i feel left out..

last night was so-oh-oh what i needed. WOW Hall? It used to be anxious hell and now its a comforting haven. I do not feel left out when i am running up and down those stairs and in and out of the bathroom and along the benches on the side and through a time when we LIVED ( Read more... )

tonight i feel... bizzarely perceptive and aware. But only really of things that i usually dont bother to notice, things i take note of but dont ordinarily analyze.

i'm stuck somewhere between everything and nothing, between extreme polar opposites that coexist fucking everywhere, that live in places like my decision making abilities, by judgment ( Read more... )

while everyone has been analyzing their recent years i wondered why i couldnt pinpoint my feelings about junior year. i realised its because i cant think about anything in reterospect if it isnt over yet.

and now that its over? (almost. i have to go to photography tomorrow.)
i still cant tell.

England was bizzare and bittersweet. I'd never taken in ( Read more... )

earlier today was called ( Read more... )

i wish that as a society, or even just as the little societal microcosm we as highschoolers are, that people would value themselves more, value the alone time we all get, appreciate themselves as the only life companion that will be there until the end.

I wish..

That staying home to watch Whoopi dance through sequels on TBS and drinking cranberry ( Read more... )

time has little emotional effect on me anymore. so i begin to notice.

The end of the school year seems so...unexciting. Yes, we're all glad it'll be finished with for a few months, but there's no skirt wearing or bare feet and no locker cleanouts or fun projects. The sun is hiding and so is the attachment to seasons and times of year that used to ( Read more... )

invites extend about ...............................this far.

i havent left my house all day.