things have been good lately. im making an effort to have friends, which involves obtaining them and being one. if i can just have friends living here would be so much better. plus its nice to be friends with girls, cause guys never talk about real stuff with each other, just like "uhh football" well not that bad but it makes sense yeah ( Read more... )

seriously, why is it everytime i come back here i feel let down? i dont hate it here i swear i just hate my life here. its so annoying. i dont do anything ( Read more... )

"I cry and cry until it feels as though it is not salt and water being squeezed from my eyes, but blood ( Read more... )

so yeah my trip was way good. even though the whole time i was with my brothers it was with their girlfriends (they should both get married and probably will). this would normally bother me, being with 2 couples, but its weird it doesnt matter cause its my brothers. jared even asked me and i honestly said its cool. normally that would be a lie ( Read more... )

i dont understand today. nothing bad has happened, yet i feel terrible. i didnt even sit around all day, i went out to lunch with eric and stuff. its not my usual loneliness, and i have no idea what it is ( Read more... )

i had a dream last night i was with a girl. i dont know who it was, i dont know where i was. but she was with me. and i held her hand and hugged her. and i realized im alone. all day i felt lonely. i just wish there was a girl here for me. i really dont think its the one i talk about. i guess i just saw her as an option, and i dont have any ( Read more... )

coming home from history tonight i had this really bad feeling. like something terrible is going to or did happen. i was really freaked out, and trying to figure out what it could be. i drove home as careful as i could and realized my dad is in an airplane right then. my dads flown probably 500 times and ive only had a feeling like that once, ( Read more... )

i love friday nights home alone without even options to do anything. i love how i have no friends. i love how i hate living here cause its my fault. seriously all i want is friendships. people who just want to hang out, but we can talk and really know each other. someone that will call me when they need something, or call me when they need nothing ( Read more... )

sometimes i wish you guys would update more so i could read about your problems and not think about mine.

i dont even know what to write in here right now, i dont even know what i feel right now. but it sucks. im tired of being alone. im tired of making up excuses. it is my fault.

Carry me away, your heartbeat as my wings ( Read more... )