Had I known that night would have been the last time I would ever say I love you,
I would have held you a little longer,
breathed a little slower,
looked into those laugh lines a little deeper and
felt your heart get a little faster.

Little wishes for a big dream that just couldn't be.

Some nights I dream that I have died and I wake up smiling.

I am now starting to realize that we were kidding ourselves with our promises of friendship. I don't think I have anything else to give and I don't know how much more I can go through. He goes out, drinks, parties, probably fools around with people and simply says that it is how he deals with things. He is exactly as selfish as he was in our ( Read more... )

For some reason I can't stop watching comedy. I mean I will take anything in any form. I just want to laugh, I need to laugh otherwise I will go insane. I need to keep busy, I need to set goals and I need to laugh. When I laugh I know that I am alive. I have been existing on water, stale crackers and music. It's always in that moment that you ( Read more... )

I have been grinding my teeth while I sleep, so I have had a constant headache and pain in my cheeks. Even if I manage to distract myself from thinking about it during the day, in my sleep I am silently screaming ( Read more... )

I am not sure how I am supposed to handle speaking to him. I still love him, but it feels as if he is only talking to me now so that it is easier for him to get over me. I don't believe that it is fair. We have become so comfortable with each other that we don't know what to do without one another. It hurts that spending time with me is something ( Read more... )

I have had to come to grips and realize that if I didn't start calming down I was going to seriously damage my friendship with him. It is taking a lot, but I think it really shows how much I have grown since the last breakup. I am still not eating too much, but that is just what happens when I am upset ( Read more... )

I will not be making a post later on tonight because I don't plan on being awake for the rest of the day. My friend cancelled on me and I finally tweaked. What the fuck is so wrong with me that people don't want to be with me? Why do the people I love never see me in their futures ( Read more... )

I woke up to the doorbell, so I didn't have time to really flop back and forth to debate whether I feel like existing today. I wish there was more to say other than I still feel like crap and think this is all pointless. We could have done so much more together, hell we could be happy together right now. I threw up the majority of the day, though I ( Read more... )

I woke up pouring sweat from head to toe. My body is reacting to loss and unwanted change. Aside from the muffin top I had the other day, I cannot stand the smell or taste of food. The very sight of it makes me sick ( Read more... )