fighting so hard hurts but walking away just doesn't feel right.

i know it can always get worse, but maybe you have to only allow it to get better. and it will, even if that takes a long time.

i'm done with being a burden. 
i want to fall out of love.

it's really strange going back and reading this thing. especially in the july entries, because looking back, i don't remember being anything but ignorant and happy during that time. but my old livejournal states the contrary. all i spoke of was my unhappiness and frustration, and i just don't remember feeling that way at all ( Read more... )

SAY THE WORDS

GIVE IT ALL THE TIME YOU NEED

LET IT OUT

DON'T YOU SAY ANYTHING

SAY THE WORDS AND MAKE THEM COUNT

SAY THE WORDS WITHOUT A DOUBT

GIVE US TRUTH AND NOTHING MORE

LEAVE US WANTING MORE, AND MORE

+posse thanksgiving reunion special
        +seeing old faces
-hurting someone who isn't even close to me and being too scared to apologize
+the future
-not ( Read more... )

let's see here. i had a pretty good moment today in the midst of fifteen of the most stressful of my life. i owe that moment to casey and her bf. lindsey gave me the best hugs today and thankyou for really meaning it. i'm excited about friday night with chelsea and i'm excited that i'm allowed to smoke cigarettes now. borat was simply amazing and i ( Read more... )

it's so fucking good/weird to know you did everything you can and so fuck it for not working. you'll regret it and losing me will be the worst thing you ever did ( Read more... )

lindsey let's bring back livejournal and our summer love for each other IT'S STILL THERE BUT WE JUST HAVE HAVE HAVE TO HANG OUT

life is hard. 9th grade-make-fun-of-everyone-else motto is truuuuuue.

i'm so sick of bitter people.

i really miss summer and my friends, ian in particular.

i miss having fun all day, every day.

it seems like there's a really long time before life will be good again.

the most intensity i get anymore is listening to songs that remind me of when things were intense. sped up. fun.

really things are just dull.

but, ( Read more... )

you wouldn't believe the amount of bullshit i've bought into if i told you myself.  it's confusing to decide whether to follow your brain or heart, and i've most always sided with my heart, but a series of unfortunate occurences has made me reconsider--put people out of my life and do what feels best for me. (i'm not sure if i can do this yet.) ( Read more... )