look to payphones without receivers ( Read more... )

ive got some plans for today. gonna try to master them on no sleep and hella coffee. its nice to have this place to myself most mornings. nice quiet time, i can dig it. i'm lucky to have the blessings that i do.

felt better after going to a meeting.
i'm not going to worry. i am so frickin worried, but ya know, i can't do anything about it. i'm powerless over the situation. one day at a time.

i'll pray on it.
i'll pray on everything.

God, give me peace of mind. serenity.

almost 7 in the morning, all cracked out from chronic insomnia. i have a cold, i thought all you wanted to do was sleep when youre sick, but oh no, not samantha, i'm fucking wide the fuck awake. have to get on a good sleep pattern, i guess in order to do that, you have to actually get to sleep somehow. anyone have any fucking suggestions on how do ( Read more... )

my fingers have sang a million love songs ( Read more... )

you cannot, i repeat, cannot, bullshit a bullshitter ( Read more... )

HOUR FOLLOWS HOUR ( Read more... )

hung out with tonya tonite. so good to to just chill and talk to her. she makes me feel so comfortable. she listened to me talk for hours, did my nails and eyebrows. things that make me feel good besides shooting dope. normal shit. it just felt good. and right. it felt right. in the meeting i went to tonite someone said "what bad can really happen ( Read more... )

so many meetings. so many feelings. chaos has found a home in me, and i carry it around. i cannot forget the person i am. i can choose to make that person better. it is hard with such sick, sick thinking, yet it can be done.

no turning back now.

went to a meeting tonite with tonya and jake. tonya's gonna sponser me to make sure i do the right thing, since i'm not capable of really doing that for myself right now 100%. work the steps. meetings. support. get a scheduale, routine down. a lot of anxiety still right now...havent slept in what seems like fucking FOREVER. walking dead. ( Read more... )