umm. what is it about hawaii that makes me want to have sex every hour of every day? i mean, i was pretty good in poughkeepsie too but this is just crazy. i have a JOB...i have RESPONSIBILITIES, i cant live like this.

in a minute i am going to wash my face, brush my teeth, and color while watching either sex and the city...which will remind me of my friends orrrr what dreams may come which will remind me of tim and make me cry. last time i watched it might have been a few weeks after i found out that he had cheated on me and we were still talking. the was the ( Read more... )

i am so tired but for some reason i wont let myself just sleep. i know as soon as i close my eyes i am going to pass out. i got no sleep last night cos brandon and bryan woke up at 730 to watch the football game after i think i passed out at like 430. rough night. a lot of fun though, i am glad i got to hang out with becca a lot last night. we ( Read more... )

aaah craig is so SMART that it kills me. he knows exactly what to do and say juuuuust enough to get right under my skin. just enough to get into my head and fuck me up. its amazing really. we went to see shakespeare in the park back in like...august and so along with a long email, he sends me the email newsletter from the shakespeare theatre ( Read more... )

how do you end something that isnt even real ( Read more... )

So I ditched both of the plans i made tonight and drove around until i decided that i am a giant loser and should just go back to patchogue so i can rot. so here it is, 115 in the morning and i am laying in bed doing this thing. ugh ( Read more... )

im laying here in my bed cos i just woke up and im contemplating what i am going to do today. i want to go to the beach but its not one of those days i feel like going alone and no one is here but bryan and emily and emily has her parents here and bryan is just a whole nother story ( Read more... )

I dont have a lot of time to write ( Read more... )

so i know i am home on vacation when i am babysitting most days when id rather be out at the mall using my victorias secret gift card or getting my hair cut or something like that. but here i am, but nice is really great and fun today actually, so i guess i cant complain. like i said, last night was pretty fun for not doin anything concrete after ( Read more... )

so i was on my way to the doctor today for my annual and i looked down at myself and i was wearing a pretty tight shirt i guess and i thought about my weight. i felt really thin. and lately every time i eat something i think "i hope this makes me look bigger to my mom" im really not looking forward to going home and having to deal with that. yes, ( Read more... )