I've alluded to this issue in previous posts, and you've all been very helpful. Here's the current situation and I'd appreciate everyone's comments and suggestions
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I don't have any advice, but I can totally understand why you are upset. My husband's best friend is (or was) a girl who had a crush on him since high school, which neither of us thinks faded. At this point it doesn't matter because she lives in CA and we live in FL, but whenever we do see her, she's very huggy and gazey and it makes me very uncomfortable. We also come from different backgrounds: He and his family and friends all hug each other whereas I don't even hug my family.
I had a "friend" who was the same was with my husband, and it made me TERRIBLY uncomfortable. He didn't think it was an issue, because like your husband, he had no interest in her as anything more than a friend and knew he was not at threat at being unfaithful in any way as a result of her actions. Also, he probably enjoyed her affectionate touchy-feely ways and the fact that she was so chummy with him. But it was a huge issue with me, and I even knew that she had had relations with friend's boyfriends in the past... maybe that is the one factor that separates my incident from yours, but that knowledge was enough for me to keep her in mind as a threat
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...my life is only better without her negative influence.
I am under the impression that we'd both be better off not worrying about what she will do that will lead to our next argument. Your story is kind of crazy; I can't believe someone would be that audacious and neglectful of someone else's feelings. Even if it was innocent, as some people might think, it still takes a real disregard for other people's lives to persist so much as she did. But it's good that your husband agreed to back you up on it and take the needed measures to make you both comfortable.
It was all very helpful to read, and I prefer to handle the situation earlier before it got as uncomfortable as yours did. Thanks!
It would bother me, too. But I think the onus is on your husband to communicate his discomfort, and the kinds of interactions he expects from them in the future. If he's unable to do that and you are continually uncomfortable hanging out with them...then yeah, I'd stop doing it. But these are your husbands friends, the behavior is directed at him - I think he needs to be the one to put his foot down.
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What happened to have given her that idea?
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My husband's best friend is (or was) a girl who had a crush on him since high school, which neither of us thinks faded. At this point it doesn't matter because she lives in CA and we live in FL, but whenever we do see her, she's very huggy and gazey and it makes me very uncomfortable. We also come from different backgrounds: He and his family and friends all hug each other whereas I don't even hug my family.
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I am under the impression that we'd both be better off not worrying about what she will do that will lead to our next argument. Your story is kind of crazy; I can't believe someone would be that audacious and neglectful of someone else's feelings. Even if it was innocent, as some people might think, it still takes a real disregard for other people's lives to persist so much as she did. But it's good that your husband agreed to back you up on it and take the needed measures to make you both comfortable.
It was all very helpful to read, and I prefer to handle the situation earlier before it got as uncomfortable as yours did. Thanks!
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