LASTS
Last cigarette: like August
Last car ride: the library last night
Last good cry: sigh...im not sure
Last library book checked out:  last night
Last kiss: the day before yesterday
Last crush: jeff, before we were going out.
Last phone call: my mom
Last time showered: yesterday, but im taking one after this
Last shoes worn: $10 ones from Mervyns
Last cd ( Read more... )

my heart honestly hurts really bad.

today was the first time ive cried at school since elementary school.

i cried all of 6th period and i couldnt stop.

ill stop crying for like a half hour and then cry again for another hour.

i cant help it.

i've never been this hurt by anyone ever.

im in so much pain and i just want it to be over.

im tired of ( Read more... )

im really sad.  im forcing myself to think positively and be happy though.

i just wish for once life could be good for a whole week. not one bad thing would happen for one whole week.  i need a break, i really do.  one bad thing ends and something worse comes along.

i NEED to be loved and told im loved...its weird ive never cared before but im like ( Read more... )

wow ok so i died my hair again and it went from pure brown to fucking DARK red again and the color i died it has NO red in it! why the fuck would it turn my hair red then?!!??! im so pissed. i hate the color red!!!!!!!!!! ive worked for 7 years to get the red out of my hair that i had so stupidly put in in 4th grade! ughhhhh!!

anyways, im gonna ( Read more... )

wow im in such a good mood.

some people are soo gay and i'm really realizing it.

it makes me feel good about myself though, knowing how stupid they are and act.

i love the rain!!

so far this weekend has been amusing.

lots of ups and one down because im gay and mess up everything.

its raining SO hard!!!!

i have alot of homework. blah.

omg ok so ( Read more... )

so anyhoo i havent updated in awhile and my last updation was sad so this will be on a happier note.

friday- i hung out with jeff...and we went to some empty house for a party and when we left i had my first "run in with the law" but i didn't get into any trouble and then we went to jeff's house and i got ready to go to sleep but andrew and matt ( Read more... )

wow the last few days all ive done is cry...sometimes people don't know, sometimes people do.

i can't fucking help it!  i can't help how i feel, i can't help if i say stupid things, and i can't help the fact that i care so much.

if i could change i would because it doesnt seem like anyone understands what the fuck im going through.

its no one's ( Read more... )

i realized i have alot of fears and maybe writing them will help me not be scared...i doubt it

1.Ocean- sea creatures

2. Bugs- they're scary and they bite

3. Being cheated on- no reason to think i would but it still scares me

4. Not being loved or cared about- i have it so im scared to lose it

5. My mom- she'll be really nice and then really mean ( Read more... )

hahah wow i realized lately how many followers there are.

Like people start doing something and everyone else will follow.

the people that were so set in their ways about who they were
and thought they had everything so figured out are realizing that they made a mistake.

i just love how the same people that criticized me for drinking
are the ( Read more... )

i bought the movie Thirteen and i've watched it about 5 times in the last day.

Incase you didn't know thats what my livejournal background is from.

life is pretty good.

gradually everything is getting figured out and im starting to get into a routine.

i think by the weekend everything will be pretty settled and set.

im going to start going to a ( Read more... )