Here I am... North Carolina. All it's beauty does not give me comfort. Right now I'm at my mamaw Johnny's house, it's good to see Megan and Montana (bro and sister) but... nana is trying to punish me in every possible way. Seriously. She even say's "that's will be a good punishment for you" then laughs. We're getting a trailor put in soon... right ( Read more... )

Shit... I was holding together... kinda. Till I wrote goodbye. Now my stomach's in knots, and I'm about to cry. I don't know why I haven't yet. I think because I'm in shock or something ( Read more... )

It's now 6:15... I just went to Kyle's myspace page to leave him a comment telling him that I love him and read his latest blog that was wrote July 2nd or 3rd... it broke my heart. He made me sound horrible, and like he didn't want to be with me. In fact he said he didn't want to be with me. It was the very last thing he said. And now I don't know ( Read more... )

Three more hours and Kyle's coming to pick me up. We are going to the HUD office to put in an application and hope that I get on the top of the waiting list if there is one, which there has to be. Then we're probably going to sleep since we both stayed up all night. We watched Van Wilder earlier... I had seen it before a while back but the dog jizz ( Read more... )

I have had such a FUCKED UP weekend it's not even funny. But, I think things are getting better. Some aspects of life are at least. I got Kyle back ( Read more... )

My life is going down the drain... I've lost something so precious. Something so fine. I feel I've lost my everything instead.

Today has been horrible. I don't even know where to begin. Me and Kyle are over... I guess. I have been balling my eyes out all day ( Read more... )

OK... so I'm not drinking poison... but my stomach's in knots and I'm depressed and this song is really getting to me. "The Unforgiven II" (Metallica) Very moving song if your in the right frame of mind. I'm sitting here... 4:00 in the morning... Kyle's not here. I don't know where he's at really... or what he's doing. I'm stressed out. I need ( Read more... )

overbearing panic attack entrenching my veins ( Read more... )

I just popped pills.. pill popper....poppitypoppitypoppitypoppoppoo ( Read more... )