If I keep repeating the words "I'm not wasting my money" maybe the sentence will come true. I mean, over the last 18 years, that has been the predominant message given to me by all television shows. TV doesn't lie. It makes mistakes, but it doesn't lie ( Read more... )

St. Valentine; some, all, or possibly none of the below:

- A priest in the Roman Empire who helped persecute Christians during the reign of Claudius II then was hauled away to jail to later be beheaded on February 14th ( Read more... )

Thanks to the gentle coercion of a friend I've been pushed into the world of Googlewhacking and not spent a minute at the computer that could be called productive ever since. Luckily I've not spent much time at the computer at all, so I'm not as frighteningly in need of outside stimulus as you might think. Still, it's an addicting task ( Read more... )

"Why was there an explosion?"

"The smoking guy got so excited he started breathing butane."

Meesh interviewed me.

1. If James Dean was back from the dead (looking rather lively) and waited on you at a 24 hour diner, what would you say to him? - "No, no. I said small fries and a large coke. Yeah. Simple mistake, it's fine."

2. Do you know the muffin man? - Not personally, but a friend of a friend once went out on a fairly publicized ( Read more... )

There's a shop in town that sells DVDs for £1. They're all terrible, naturally, and are thrown into this basket graveyard of movies that no one would buy, even for people they hated. So, again naturally, I buy them. Mostly the Japanese ones, but anything that comes up and looks especially bad is added to my collection ( Read more... )

Four more minutes until the next film starts. My brother and I have been watching DVDs for what seems like a week, and there are more to come. It's called a you-bought-them-so-watch-them-at-least-once night. So many action films, I can feel my IQ dropping and my over all muscle mass increasing as I speak ( Read more... )

Today, I saw a man having a fight with his shirt.

The President said he admired my eye make-up, Hunter Thompson smoked and went through three lines of cocaine before the meal was over. He offered me an acid tab, I declined on the grounds that it made the pasta taste like cotton ( Read more... )

Eyeballs ( Read more... )