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a year later.
Well I haven't written in this diary for a very long time. I remembered what a good form of therapy writing in these things was ( Read more... ) -
I still haven't found what I'm looking for...
Fuck it, i am not happy. I seem to be looking for happiness in all of the wrong places. *sigh* I am so frustrated. My life has huge empty spots that have just begun to be hollow. They used to be filled...but now they are missing something/someone. I am so numb and so feelingless...I am black...so confused about what's going on. I feel alone and ( Read more... ) -
Broken home.
I hated the look in my mother's eyes. She always stresses when she sees me cry. It kills me when I see her hurting. I know that everything she does, she does it for me. She gives me everything that I need. And i always take it for granted. I hate being how I am. So ignorant to what's going on around me. I wish my mother knew how much I truly love ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I am content with school. Today was a very good day. I got to spend my lunch time with this gay dude, George, who graduated last year, along with his friend Jennifer and some other dudes. It was amusing. I had forgotten the goodness of those dudes! On a lighter note, I made friends with alot of new peoples. They're pretty cool. Especially this ( Read more... ) -
It's a matter of trust
I feel beautiful and happy. I don't think i've been this comfortable since forever. I am indeedly happy. There is only one thing that could take this away...and I don't want it to ever happen. Ever ( Read more... ) -
What the deuce?!?!
I don't know what to do. I know this shouldn't be difficult to decide but it is. Just certain things bring that fire back into my heart, but then...I think twice and it hurts me more than ever. *bangs head on desk "Die Die Die"*
Bleh what to do what to do!
Do i just let fate decide what I should do? -
You seem like you'd be a good dad
For a long time I was in love
Not only in love, I was obsessed
With a friendship that no one else could touch
It didn't work out, I'm covered in shells
And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
And all I needed was a simple man
So I could be a wife
I'm so ashamed, I've been so mean
I don't know how it got to this point
I always was the one ( Read more... ) -
Angry and fustrated
I am so aggravated. She knows i have to get ready. No space...absolutely no space. So much rushing gets me angry and upset. I have been dreading to see her for so fucking long, but i'm restless and tired. I have to help my parents with their junk and I cannot get ready fast enough for her. I know I want to see her fast! But i can't. I hate it when ( Read more... ) -
Happy Happy
So I barely got home! I have been going in and out of my damn apartment! I first was gonna go with my parents to have dinner, but then decided I needed some rest. So then one of my friends called me and asked me if I wanted to join him at a get together they were having at his house. I didn't want to so I declined his offer. He then surprised me at ( Read more... ) -
Can you hear me?
God I have been behaving like such a butt lately. I feel like shit. I am not happy right now. There are just so many damn moments when I am not happy. Moments when I feel homesick and I want to be at home ( Read more... )