you/this situation made me realize so much. im tired of pretending im not in love with you. im tired of trying to date other people only to realize they're not as perfect as you are. im tired of not seeing you. im tired of not having you as mine. im tired of wondering why we are they way we are. im not doing this anymore ( Read more... )

let me tell you. everything ( Read more... )

there's a draft coming through my window and it smells like hairspray or potent shampoo and its creeping me out ( Read more... )

snails can sleep for three years. why cant i?   i feel terrible. i feel not worth meeting. i feel emo. i feel lame and boring and everything i never wanted to feel like. i feel gross. i feel not worth him. not worth love. not worth causing anyone pain. i hate this. i hate what i did. i hate that im writing in this dumb journal the same things i've ( Read more... )

i want things to go back to normal. and i want to be able to love someone, and be annoying and smothering and kissing them every second and have no doubt that they're loving me back. i want to call and just listen to them breathing and have that be better than lying in bed alone. i want to not wonder. and not be scared. and not care about what will ( Read more... )

sarcasm. the beach. independant films. self expression. wakeboarding. acting my shoe size. swedish fish. holding hands. snowboarding. art. photography. body language. walking downtown. my family. skimboarding. playing outdoors. finishing each others sentences. hugs. eye contact. text messages. sewing. late night conversations. the format. favourite ( Read more... )

if my brother is right. and he hasnt been wrong much. then soon i will get to be the happiest girl alive. and i mean that.

how much time do i spend wishing you were in my life everyday before we make it happen?

i cant respond to last night. i think too much and i over analyze everything. im hard on myself because i have to be. because i have amazing friends but they rarely tell me when i mess up. so if i dont  continually remind myself when i do something wrong, no one will.  i dont not love myself, i just know i can be better. i feel like settling for ( Read more... )

i cant be mad. i just cant have him. cant cant cant. can not.

im being a slut.
and i dont care.

and its really not right.

- - -

sometimesimakethebestexcuses.