And Erin's mom called me fat.

I'm down a pound from yesterday.

I woke up and cried at the realization that came to me. I wandered into the bathroom and told a hot, scalding shower - so hot that it gave me goosebumps and made my skin turn red and tender. Then I wrapped myself up in my white terrycloth robe and wandered outside into the backyard, where about nineteen inches of snow has accumulated. It traveled ( Read more... )

Oh. My. God. Tonight was quite possible one of the most awkward, cold nights that I've ever had ( Read more... )

I'm rather satisfied with myself at the moment. Okay, so I'm not exactly girlfriend material. I accept that. But if I have to be slut material...at least I got some tonight. Oh God, it was so flattering to know that they all thought of me as pretty. They all took notice when I walked into the room in my cheerleading uniform. I've had so many of ( Read more... )

Needless to say...um...wow. My life is definitely very interesting ( Read more... )

I checked Casey's profile, my heart jumping a little to see that he was online, but I expected it to say the same old thing - a quote about why bad things happen to good people, and a quote about how things suck. But instead, it said ( Read more... )

It's like I'm so lost and have no idea what to do. One day I wish I had a sweet boyfriend to sweep me off my feet...but my problem is that, just a little while before, I was having a one night stand and being easy, which isn't exactly conducive to being the sweet girlfriend in return. I guess it's just my lack of moderation again. I have no middle ( Read more... )

I am sad. I throw myself head over heels into readings, and long hot baths, and dwelling on things. I spend a lot of time trying to distract myself, like watching MTV until I know every video and episode by heart, or listening to the radio, or reading a book. I think I will start tomorrow. I need something to distract myself, something to pull ( Read more... )

I find it increasingly difficult to get away with things. So I am cautious about approaching restriction again. I plan for it. I study the eating routines at Kathy and Lathy's. I take notice of where the trash cans are, and how much food they stock in the house, and how much they really notice of what I do. Have I begun restricting yet? No. But ( Read more... )

I love flirting, but I wish it would lead somewhere. Kyle was flirting like mad with me today, probably because I was acting aloof to him. He offered me a chair in American History and carried it all the way from the other side of the room to me. He talked to me even when he was all the way on the other side of the classroom. He joked, trying to ( Read more... )