my mom's married man broke her heart ( Read more... )

goddamn old man holding up my smoke break... i miss my jetta.

he wanted to talk about chihuahuas.

i'm going to break through tonight, i'm gonna make a communication. i'm going to buy used clothes, too.

five more hours of this staring window at the sky, but clouds are breaking up, maybe to see the moon tonight. good god.

~~~~Elly

he was crying in the dream, we were outside with all strangers to me who were his friends, and i took his hand, but my clothes were all wrong so i took some of them off. i felt like he was awkward crying, and my clothes were awkward and crying too, but when i took his hand he smiled through tears so maybe we're all right. all i can do is speculate ( Read more... )

in these final moments leading to my inevitable doom, i'd like to reflect on my last remnants of dignity and self-esteem. those fuckers have caused me nothing but trouble. i'm trembling like a baby fawn in the shadow of goliath, and i'm about ( Read more... )

it's all in foreign languages, no translator, life would be too easy if that were the case. i'm trying to sidestep certain grammatical rules here but that's just weakening me, the further i get the more holes there are and the more i have to look back and get held up for answers to things i ignored before. and what is with this terror, shaking in ( Read more... )

for the first time in a while, i sat smoking a butt outside the store and really absorbed my surroundings.. it's so calm and quiet in andover today, everyone's on vacation, the streets are empty, parking lots barren, as i sat and cold air mixed with cigarette smoke clouding stagnant in the air, still but for a light breeze now and then to tease my ( Read more... )

I'm applying to work at a ranch this summer. I'm torn, because this will prevent me from being with my friends during the summer, but this is probably my only chance to travel for a while... so, I will be a ranch hand, and it'll be cool. I want the Denver Doldrums ( Read more... )

i'm filling out an application for brown - i went there today to visit, and felt really strongly about it, and certain that i could get in, but as the day progressed, i've been feeling less and less confident in it - they ask if i've ever committed a crime, so i have to tell them about the dui, and according to collegeboard, they accept, on average ( Read more... )

i've been avoiding everybody ( Read more... )

my mother hits the bottle every night now, and calls me to talk about matt and how disappointing she was as a mother ( Read more... )