Stop the Press, II
From THE DAILY BUGLE, leading article, written by J. Jonah Jameson himself.
GOTCHA!
Green Goblin Gruesomely Mutilated By Spider-man
New York City, Saturday, 01/21/06
One down, one to go. Police alerted to the sight of possibly suicidal figures on top of the Elmer Holmes Bobst Library were stunned to find, amidst remains of the characteristic webs used by the vigilante Spider-man, the mangled corpse of the Green Goblin. Soon identified as Dr. Mitchell Griffin, 42, employee of OsCorp Industries, the Green Goblin appears to have met his demise.
"And that's putting it mildly," one of the detectives wishing to remain anonymous said. "Spider-man must have gone all commando on him. I'm telling you, man, I'm not sure the right guy survived. What kind of nutter stabs someone in the eye after he's already down for the count? Okay, forget I said that."
This paper, recently attacked by the Goblin for its courageous revelation about his possible coalition with Spider-man, argues for a fallout between thieves. Obviously, Griffin got too greedy in the wake of his successful attacks. "Yeah, he always was after a salary raise," Mr. Argus Fortescue, OsCorp account manager, said when questioned about Griffin. "Also pissed off that Mr. Osborn brought some kid in to head the department. But nobody expected this. Anyway, I'd like to point out that Griffin used to work for Campbell Industries before he came to us, you know what I'm saying?"
As our readers undoubtedly recall, a Campbell Industries factory was the first location to be attacked by the Goblin after his return. Given the new revelation of his identity and background, we can indeed see a pattern, give the various public brawls between Todd Campbell and Harry Osborn and Campbell's recent open endorsement of Spider-man. In the best tradition of hired thugs everywhere, Spider-man and the Green Goblin appear to nothing but tools in a vicious warfare between competing firms who decided to go into business for themselves at one point. This also explains why, all tireless efforts of this journal to the contrary, Spider-man still escapes justice.
"It's all about the money, man," director Michael Moore, newly arrived in New York for research concerning a possible Campbelll-Osborn-Bush connection, was heard to declare. "Always was."
We advise Mr. Campbell to take a look at what remains of Mitchell Griffin's corpse and surrender the masked menace; fortune may favour the bold, but not the dead.
Meanwhile, donations for the welfare of our surviving employees and the restoration of the Daily Bugle's office are gratefully accepted.
GOTCHA!
Green Goblin Gruesomely Mutilated By Spider-man
New York City, Saturday, 01/21/06
One down, one to go. Police alerted to the sight of possibly suicidal figures on top of the Elmer Holmes Bobst Library were stunned to find, amidst remains of the characteristic webs used by the vigilante Spider-man, the mangled corpse of the Green Goblin. Soon identified as Dr. Mitchell Griffin, 42, employee of OsCorp Industries, the Green Goblin appears to have met his demise.
"And that's putting it mildly," one of the detectives wishing to remain anonymous said. "Spider-man must have gone all commando on him. I'm telling you, man, I'm not sure the right guy survived. What kind of nutter stabs someone in the eye after he's already down for the count? Okay, forget I said that."
This paper, recently attacked by the Goblin for its courageous revelation about his possible coalition with Spider-man, argues for a fallout between thieves. Obviously, Griffin got too greedy in the wake of his successful attacks. "Yeah, he always was after a salary raise," Mr. Argus Fortescue, OsCorp account manager, said when questioned about Griffin. "Also pissed off that Mr. Osborn brought some kid in to head the department. But nobody expected this. Anyway, I'd like to point out that Griffin used to work for Campbell Industries before he came to us, you know what I'm saying?"
As our readers undoubtedly recall, a Campbell Industries factory was the first location to be attacked by the Goblin after his return. Given the new revelation of his identity and background, we can indeed see a pattern, give the various public brawls between Todd Campbell and Harry Osborn and Campbell's recent open endorsement of Spider-man. In the best tradition of hired thugs everywhere, Spider-man and the Green Goblin appear to nothing but tools in a vicious warfare between competing firms who decided to go into business for themselves at one point. This also explains why, all tireless efforts of this journal to the contrary, Spider-man still escapes justice.
"It's all about the money, man," director Michael Moore, newly arrived in New York for research concerning a possible Campbelll-Osborn-Bush connection, was heard to declare. "Always was."
We advise Mr. Campbell to take a look at what remains of Mitchell Griffin's corpse and surrender the masked menace; fortune may favour the bold, but not the dead.
Meanwhile, donations for the welfare of our surviving employees and the restoration of the Daily Bugle's office are gratefully accepted.