Everything has changed. and I'm blowing away like leaves in the wind ( Read more... )

I don't want to be here anymore.
I don't want to have to be around.
I can't even stand myself.

I'm tired of being human, if human is what I am. I'm tired of being human.

and denisha makes me sick but that's nothing new.

School has been pretty good actually. keeping me busy, keeping me away from that place. those matches and all of the other things and whatnot. Still am the chef of my starvation. Poetic. Destructive.

Quiet interests at school. Too new to think too much on yet though. I see their eyes.

First day was hard. Too hot and too lonely after being all alone for the greater part of the summer. It depresses me how happy people are. Jealous. Why can't I be like them? I see Denisha in the hallways and want to melt into the walls. Shove her down the stairs. Butcher her. She doesn't deserve the people she has. It makes me sick ( Read more... )

Is there hope for me after all is said and done. I'm wrapped up in this insenserity. I hate the feeling of waking up after you've cried yourself to sleep. Just hate it ( Read more... )

hahahahahahahaha. I guess Denisha found out that I told I told I told. yeah, I told about her fucking her big brother. I sent the cops on his rotting ass. Wish she would call me up to bitch me out so i could tell her to go fuck herself. Laugh like mad if she asks me why I told. Because because. So many reasons. Some wicked some loving some wrong ( Read more... )

Worked today. Working has been the best part of my life for a while now. Gets me away. And I can see Gabrielle. Wish I could just whisper to her. Hold her. Never let her go. Sink into me. I'll be the Bermuda Triangle of your pain. So many lost ships. I'll be her closet friend. No one will ever have know. As long as she's mine. As long as she can ( Read more... )

Worked last night. Gabrielle is back from her 4-day vacation. Almost told her i missed her but I couldn't stand it if she pushed me away. Another ounce of pain and I'll crumble ( Read more... )

Denisha fills my head with pandemonium. Clueless and I still have nothing to do. I'll let her go on. Maybe I can tear her to shreds like she did me. Give her a little taste of my bruised heart. Tell her that this is what happens when you hurt me. i ruin your life, and i completely crush you ( Read more... )