Ah worked again last night. With Garbrielle. The butterfly in my stomache. The dream stretched throughout my head. The hand ruling my heart. And she doesn't have a clue. For better or for worse ( Read more... )

She is insane. I have tasted her insanity and barely got out of it. Denisha calls me. All the time. She told me about how she plans on breaking her new boyfriend's heart. I told her that she's pretty good at doing that. And she told me she still loves me. I don't know whether to vomit or slam the phone down. She pisses me off. I would never go back ( Read more... )

I am on my knees again. Gabrielle. Gabrielle. Mame sweet as poetry on my lips. She's so innocent. She hates herself so much. Has such low self-esteem. Thinks no one can ever love her. I do. I want to show her. Show her how beautiful she is. If not to the world than to me. Let me be enough. Let me be right. Let me patch up her insides and kiss her ( Read more... )

I'm strange. I'm so far from the person I used to be. The person i thought I was. I rarely sleep. i hate to eat. I don't cut anymore but there are so many ways to hurt yourself. I overexcersize. I burn myself away. Ashes. I'm my own pretty little fire ( Read more... )

Dad talked to mom last night. Wasn't there for a word of it. Dad told me what mom had basically said though. She wants me to leave. Go live with him. Send the problem away like an object. Get it fixed. Sew it's lips closed ( Read more... )

Room is finished. just need to get a few more things for it ( Read more... )

As i said the carpet is down. nothing can go back to the way it was. I'm a different person now. Eroded down to my rotting core. Taking the boxes out of the attic and I want nothing to do with the things i find. They aren't me. I can't create a hollow for myself with things that came from a different person. I have no delightful little memories of ( Read more... )

Worked today. Highlight of whatever I've been doing. Hopefully I'll be moving into my room very soon. The carpet is down and everything should be going to back to the way it should be.

I miss you. i miss everything. It's getting hard to breathe in this ugly box I've built for myself.

Bored. Tired and lonely ( Read more... )

walking in my impersonal life ( Read more... )