June meltdown season

[absinthehearts]

It is June. June is meltdown season. June is when my daughter finally has to face up to the fact that she hasn't been keeping up on her out of class work for the entire term, there is no way to catch up at this point, and she is likely to lose a full semester of credits

Comments

[auros]

Not that it exactly helps, but my parents -- who are wonderful people, and were such good parents in many ways that part of why I don't want to have kids myself is that I have trouble imagining living up to them -- have struggled with a lot of the same issues with my younger brother. They couldn't bear the thought that he'd get hurt by the diabetes, by being an irresponsible teenager, and so they hovered, and took care of every little thing for him, and he never developed any kind of coping skills or ability to take care of himself. (On top of that, he always had ADHD, and eventually developed much more severe mental illness -- probably paranoid schizophrenia. His extensive drug use certainly didn't help.) And of course, he still, even with all that, managed to put himself into a low- or high-blood sugar crisis a couple times, so it's not like their fear was unjustified. In each situation they were dealing with, it's hard to see what specifically they should, or even could, have done differently that would've made things any

[dextra]

first and foremost, hugs for you. i soooooo hear where you're coming from. for the youngling, it's as if she doesn't have the "oh shit" switch at all, so deadlines come and go with nary a blip

[absinthehearts]

On Wednesday, at her last pedaetric diabetes clinic, they gave her a fancy new monitor. It's called 'Freestyle', and it's miles ahead, technologically, over what she had before (ultra one touch mini). It has a touch screen, uses less blood, and can be programmed with your regime, your correction factor and your desired sugar range. So, when you test, and tell it how many carbs you have eaten, it tells you what your rapid acting insulin dose should be. It also keeps logbook records, and you can hook it up to the computer to get all sorts of fancy reports. I am hoping that this will spur her to do her insulin when she eats, rather than later, when she can get me to do the calculations for her.

I'm not sure when that end-station will be. I'm planning to re-evaluate her situation next year, to see what she has done with her life and what she is planning, and re-evaluate support from there. It will probably be a year by year reconsideration.

[kallisti]

The first thing you need to do is to stop blaming yourself! It's bad for you, and it will be bad for your daughter if she needs you, and you are in a funk because you spend so much time beating yourself up. Second of all, with all the problems your daughter has to deal with, the problems you have to deal with and the whole family situation, it would have taken a super-mom to fix all of that....and as you don't wear a cape and a costume with an "S" on the chest, you are not supermom, so stop blaming yourself already

[absinthehearts]

I don't network with other parents. I chat with Ivy occassionally, because, as you remarked, our kids have some overlapping issues, and are close in age. I read dextra's postings practically religiously, for a lot of reasons, including her having a child close in age to my own, but also out of sheer admiration for her indefagitable ability to see a silver lining. And, of course, for a window into the glamorous life of an ex-pat

[kallisti]

You really need to network with some other parents!!!! And there are lots resourced on the Net, on Facebook, and even here on LJ for parents with children who have special needs of all sorts, and for people who have special needs. One that I enjoy, and occasionally has helpful information is TotallyADD.com, which is run, in part by Rick Green...yes, Commander Rick aka half of the people behind the Red Green show. He has some great videos for on dealing with ADD, and some of the various problems it causes...like, Procrastination!

http://totallyadd.com/procrastination-and-overwhelm/

Use google, it will point you in many directions, some of them good!