this is getting out of hand, i can feel myself starting to fall apart at the seams. I feel like all i ever do is work, yet i have no money, someone is always pissed off at me for something no matter how hard i try and I'm feeling burried underneath the weight of just trying to keep going. I realize that my life is not really all that stessful by ( Read more... )

I have that feeling again, the one that says just get in the car and go, drive as far and as fast as you can. Execpt for i cant, i cant run this time, i wont let myself, but oh how i want to

today was so good and so bad all at the same time. I feel good i feel strong ( Read more... )

i feel better today, for some reason the simple act of driving a car makes me feel more in control of my life. Yet another reason why i need one. Drove kai's car pool this morning, felt like a soccer mom but it went off with out a hitch. I even got free coffee from the cute guy at the epping dunks, what a way to start a morning.

i feel more like my old self today. after i came home i took a shower and let madi and savi do my hair. then we went to julias talent show which was boring but very cute once she finally got up there. They play some good dancing type music through the whole thing tho and now im really in the mood to go out dancing... but thats not really in the ( Read more... )

i was right he did get it. lol why do i even bother i wonder. i had a good day yesterday, but i still seem to have this permiating sence of worry and i dont know why. I hung out with jenna we laughed and rocked out to steel panther who i have to say i have fallen in love with. Then i came over to jaimies and did my damnedest to cheer her up, which ( Read more... )

today was...better. hung out with jenna charlie and greg.smoked up on old town hill and just basicly screwed around all day. it was fun tho i laughed alot. i needed to laugh. now im going to cook for jaimie and drink some mikes berry yay!

i have to say that i am sorry, that i am more sorry now than i ever have been before in my life, and i am afraid. I dont know how i got here, how i became this person, im forgetting that life so fast it doesnt feel real. Like none of it happened, but it did i see the effects of it all around me and simply cant get past how much i gave up. how ( Read more... )

so clearly im going to be a teenager and start writing in here again ( Read more... )

you kno how sometimes something stupid happens and you cant help but think it has changed you. something that could have been either really good or really bad and had it happened your whole life would have been different, but it didnt happen so what does it matter ( Read more... )