The Necessity of Love?

[dierdrae]

I have been pondering this for a few days, now. I seem to have found a contradiction, either that or I'm wrong in one of my premises

Comments

[liz_lowlife]

Just live each day and make no plans

[ex_jxander]

thats so beautiful. i agree .we seems to have this image of love thats been inforced through media and soceity . and that not love its a over dramatised version . :)

[tabular_rasa]

There's a cynical part of me that thinks love only exists to encourage our species to reproduce, which is the only biological purpose of our existence. In which case, you might not need love, but the species as a whole needs it. Or at least sex.

Buddhist thought would also encourage you to break your attachments, including love. (Though if you're Mahayana Buddhist, a positive selfless love could become a vessel to transcendence).

Really, there's a lot of thought out there to suggest love is quite useless, actually

[theidolhands]

Well stated.

If one finds fulfillment with another person, rather than a purpose or non-human companion or platonic relationship (such as motherhood), it should add to them, not be from a sense of need or codependency. Of course codependency can work, but one looks at a couple like Bobby and Witney to see the result of that

[4_4_4]

All love begins with love for the Self.

The self of ego is not the Self of All.

The Self of All is the Self of One and Other.

Love is the purest & most primal relation between One and Other.

It is a most difficult path,and very much the "road less travelled."

[turil]

You're absolutely right. The people who torture you by telling you to be "self-sufficent" are confused, and don't really have a clue about love. Humans need love, they need belongingness, they need touch, and so on. These are basic needs for health and growth. We do indeed need family and intimate friends to be healthy mentally and physically. Those who try to go it alone end up compromising their health in the long run. (Tons of studies can corroborate this.) We not only need intimate companionship to be healthy, we deserve intimate companionship, because two heads really are better than one when it comes to helping create a better world

[theidolhands]

There are many people who find love in things other than intimate companionship.

[turil]

There is indeed different kinds of love. But intimate love is necessary for healthy growth and development. I'm not talking sex, I'm talking physical contact, and emotional connection, which can be a mother holding a baby and rocking it to sleep, or holding hands with someone you care about, or hugs from your family.

intimate love is necessary?

[kindlingfreedom]

that's just another level of the same PHYSICAL or P. the lowest P level is sex. imagine the highest level to be holding hands. P's this big bubble. Imagine standing there, with this huge floating bubble infront of you that's P. You reach out and touch it, then you realize that it's like stinking your finger in the socket, but this P energy is electricity that pleasant for human sensing

woohoo long winded

[theconsequences]

i often wondered something similar myself when i was younger-- "what's the point of dating somebody if you won't end up marrying them?" i just didn't see the point in putting so much energy into something NOW if it won't be around one, two, three years.

but stumbling upon somebody you really get along with and can have a beautiful relationship with can help you change, can help you become more self-confident, self-sufficient, independent. those people can teach you things, albeit indirectly, that you wouldn't have been able to learn yourself. if it weren't for alex, the one guy who basically destroyed me, i wouldn't know what real love is. the majority of my relationships have ended badly, but that doesn't mean that i didn't learn something from them, you know? as long as you can pick yourself up and carry on with new knowledge, then the time spent with that person wasn't a total waste