This is the first time I've journaled in a very long time. I think that's because every since everyone moved to MySpace it's been blogging. Everything I wrote became less personal and more for other's entertainment. And once everything move to Facebook that was the end of trains of thought altogether. But here I am, drinking my wife's wine. I am ( Read more... )

I woke up this morning and for the first time in years felt like "me." I don't know what me is or what exactly that is, but I feel like the person I used to be a long time ago, in a better time. I expected that it would take some time to recovery from a psychotic illness, but even though my life has been "normal" for a while now - job, car, ( Read more... )

Sometimes I wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life. It seems that in spite of being very successful at the things I do they don't seem to lead to any particular place. I started at Franklin College in the summer of 2003 I believe it was, it is 2008 now. One would have imagined that I would have graduated by now. But I have not. I started there ( Read more... )

Last night I went to Jen's and felt just overwhelmed with life. I woke up today worse. When I get like this I'm afraid to be around people, and I'm afraid not to. It was only the day before that I told myself before I went to bed "From now on I'm going to wake up every day with joy." I don't think that's a ridiculous goal. After all, you just woke ( Read more... )

So, this Spring break has been interesting. I spent the whole weekend working non-stop (12 hours a day) working with Horia, his colleague from the NIH and Prashant. It was one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had, like a meditation retreat for science. We were just thinking and talking about things non-stop and I felt a confidence that I ( Read more... )

So it is well established, that I have become more boring. I know this because I now a science major and have considerable data to demonstrate this fact. Since I switched majors I lost a lot of may ability to run free. I don't think I was completely prepared for this fact, and my relationship has suffered. For a long time I have worried about Jen ( Read more... )

I was coming home from Borders today and it was raining. I sat for a moment and watched the rain and quickly found myself so enthralled by the experience that I decided not to leave. As I sat there I noticed the raindrops as they hit the windshield - how this distorted the colors and shape of things - trees, ferns, fences, lightpoles, houses. As ( Read more... )

This is the first entry I've written on LJ in a while. I do so because this is not something I care for the average MySpace person to read ( Read more... )

I've been reading Lizard Music. It has kind of awakened me to my childhood, not specific memories, but the sense of newness and wonder I used to experience on a daily basis. It's very strange for me to think that I used to feel this all the time, really into my teens until things go bad. For three weeks I've been waiting to ask my mom to fix my ( Read more... )

I went to see The Queen with my father tonight. I not sure what I expected, but it turned out to be a very good movie. What struck me however, was how much I felt during this film. It felt good to feel. Periodically this thought to check my phone came up, I've been trying to get better about how conscious of time I am. I've become so obsessed with ( Read more... )