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[acridturpintine]

Would I be considered a traitor were I to say that this sandwich bar is the worst thing that has happened to me? I have set up a camp right by the bar where for the past few weeks I have spent most of my free time here eating sandwiches, not to mention sleeping and breathing them as well

Comments

[deranged_gofer]

...

Excuse me? Sandwiches. Your obsession? Sandwiches.

Merlin's arse, this school is strange.

[acridturpintine]

I do not recall asking for your opinion on anything. If you will be of no help to my situation, I suggest you leave me alone.

[terryclothrags]

You know, there are worse obsessions than sandwiches. For example, Lederhosen und der deutschen Kultur.

[terryclothrags]

I'll be by as soon as I finish the next problem in the arithmancy problem set, I was going to go see Lily now that classes are over, but I can make the time to save you from a savoury fate. Even if it might be the last thing I do before the universe ceases to exist because of the continued temporal paradox caused by the simultaneous existence of Lily and Harry in this time period. Do you have your wand on you?

[acridturpintine]

Oh, my wand, of course. I also have a knife nearby. Should I sharpen my wand and stab my way out blindly until I reach my dorm?

[terryclothrags]

You have your wand? Why do you need my help?

You could try stunning the salami into submission, and several other sandwich elements should also stop attacking, supposing you spelled them.

[acridturpintine]

Do not take me for a fool, Terry. I would not be asking for help if I did not need it. I have already tried your method and either the little buggers are extremely agile, or attacking them from inside the tent is futile. Of course, if you are too busy, you do not have to come. I just hope Lily has enough wit and intelligence to replace me because I am about to die of starvation in here.