sucked it up and had a sleepover with ryan. it was so good. we rolled around and talked and cuddled. i friend requested him on facebook, his daughter is FUCKING ADORABLE. he brought me breakfast in bed. i have really got to stop myself from getting too attached..........

so ryan and i kissed and made up. idk why i'm just drawn to him. i can't help it. i was at the beach for literally 10 and a half hours yesterday. i surfaced at one point to go poop and get some snacks. that's it though. i got there at like 9am. ryan showed up around 2. we cuddled and chatted for a while. shane and robby showed up. then chels and ( Read more... )

jk. this place rules. i work two days a week and get to fuck around the rest of the week. i'm going to start playing piano again. the church has a great upright and amazing acoustics. and i met someone yesterday at red sands who is a piano teacher. she's classically trained. i heard that and i felt so happy immediately. i can't wait to get back ( Read more... )

i'm so fucking depressed right now. i just don't know what to do with myself. i have to leave hana tropicals. the fact is that i can no longer afford to feed myself. we're supposed to get eggs and we're supposed to get vegetables but we get neither. i work 25 hours a week and have nothing to show for it. i blew through my savings in six weeks ( Read more... )

we got some new kids in hurr. now there's six of us. somehow, i managed to wind up with my own room. and there's a new guy coming on thursday, and he's going out into the bus, so i will still have my own room for the foreseeable future. lolz. how did i manage that? i'm not sure. i told krista i'd be okay with us getting another girl to stay in my ( Read more... )

omg, should i just rename this "complainaboutthemeninmylife.com"?

fuck it.

whatever. so. i moved the furniture around and dripped some perfume onto the fan, now the room looks completely different and smells like me instead of like a musty man. boy. i moved in and it's awesome in here now. except i still hit my head on the edge of the top bunk every. fucking. time. can't stop thinking about him but when i called him the ( Read more... )

fffuckkkk everything here reminds me of him this blows. i washed all the sheets, his room is empty, we threw away all his food, i deleted his number and all his texts... literally just purged his existence from the place but i still can't stop thinking about him. krista wants to burn sage in his room, it's supposed to get rid of negative energy or ( Read more... )

this fucking suuuccckkkkssssss. of course my closest friend in hana leaves 2 and a half weeks in. cool.

i think i'll just curl up in the fetal position and eat a million pieces of lilikoi. my sheets smell like him and it's making me nuts. gotta wash them immediately.

just kidding. again. fuck. i am much more upset than i thought i would be about this situation. turns out the reason he was acting like a dick was because i told him how i felt about him, and he was trying to push me away. and now... now that i know him better i want him so badly it's making me FUCKING NUTS. especially the fact that he doesn't want ( Read more... )