Dear Livejournal ( Read more... )

Welp, I got doctor's approval to start drinking again. Time to usher in a new era of _______.

hahaha nobody is even nice on the internet anymore

it's hilarious

Saturday nights are great for drinking until you pass out. Good thing I am expert skill level at this.

P.S. I love the mcfuckity fuck out of my job. Jerry, the retarded kid I work with, asked me if it would be ornery if your car had seven buttwoofers in it. I told him even one buttwoofer is too ornery.

Thank goodness for friends. Think about yours for a second. Always makes me remember how much there is to be grateful for.

Livejournal sucks shit. If I wanted to hear people pretend like they're deep and on a different intellectual level than everyone else, I'd stick my head up my own ass and rip my dick off. Cause that sounds like just as much fun. CASE CLOSED.

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Thurman, Iowa

fuckin yeah

I wanna talk about hard-boiled eggs for a second. They're a tasty treat and have no carbohydrates which is good if you're I dunno on a diet or if you have the ol 'beetees. I'm talking about diabetes in case you think i meant t-shirts for bees. I always thought it was a funny trick to crack the shell of a hard boiled egg by smashing it on your head ( Read more... )

This one goes out to my homeboyz, livejournal is for real life fuckerz

You know, one time Zach told me, "Yeah, I had the kind of poop where I had to break it up with my finger, you know, to get it out," and I said "Zach, that's the most fucking disgustingest thing I've ever heard." Disgustingest isn't even a word so you know I was pretty serious ( Read more... )