My dad is in the hospital. I don't know if he's going to be OK.

Love hangs herself ( Read more... )

Why do I always feel as if I'm living on the brink of madness? As if I've stepped one toe over the line, gone just a little too far. One crack away from breaking in half completely. I don't like to think that my mind is so fragile, but I am definitely not as strong as I would have myself believe. I really don't understand why people hang out with ( Read more... )

Ok, I'm like thisclose to becoming a fucking globe-traveling hippy or a rastafarian or something and seeking spiritual enlightenment in some third-world religion or in the plight of the people. I don't even know. I know that this place, my little world, is becoming a fucking inferno and it's time to sail away. I don't enjoy life. AT ALL. I'm ( Read more... )

I feel so dirty inside. I'm a rotten fucking disapointment. I've let myself down in so many ways, there's no going back. Just being alive feels wrong to me. I feel safe nowhere. I feel comfortable nowhere. I feel as if I've fucked up so much, i've done so many things I swore i would never do, I've broken every promise to myself, to my family, it ( Read more... )

No one ever uses this thing anymore, none of my friends have posted in at least a month, so maybe it's safe for me to ramble my own pathetic musings. I finally let on a little too much...my aunt thinks I'm going crazy, or that I have some terrible illness. She asked me how I was doing, I let my guard down for a split second and that was all, it was ( Read more... )

What's going on, what's going on? That is the question. I have no idea. I feel like shit all the time. I have no reason for existing at the moment. My stomache hurts, I can't eat. Maybe that's a miracle. I'm sick with something, but what, I cannot tell. Or decide. God help me, I'm fucking up. I can feel it. Something's gotta give, I can't be alone ( Read more... )

I've been in Salem since Monday and I can't go home until tomorrow. It's been good for me, actually. I've been working some extra shifts, which means I'll have some extra money, I'll finally be in the clear with bills. I hate owing money to my friends. And I can finally go out! It's been good to be away from everything for a while. I needed a break ( Read more... )

I'm having an odd time these days. I just don't know what to think about anything. I'm floating...it's like sensory deprivation. Or overload. I can't tell the difference. My brain is filling up with numbers...my heart is filing up with lead. Or is it the other way around? I just wish something concrete would materialize from all this confusion. I ( Read more... )

We had a party on Friday...Seriously, out of control. Plus the night before I got completely wasted by myself. Anyway, we had all these people over that we hadn't seen in forever. It got pretty crazy. I drank way too much, did way too many drugs, and made an utter fool of myself in front of all my friends. I woke up the next day still fucked up... ( Read more... )