go fuck yourself.

I can honeslty say that I am losing my ability to distinguish between the warped day dreams I have and what Is real. I can hardly type, my fingers are lazy and dont want to talk to my brain. My eyelids are swelling shut at the same time that they are being pulled open by sweet caffine. I cant sleep, I havnt slept for three days now... I have ( Read more... )

What I Forgot to Mention ( Read more... )

So much time has passed and so much but so little has changed. I look through these pages and I see a glimpse of a world that is long dead to me. I cant help but think how good it really was for me in those days - but maybe it wasnt. I've been on the track for rock bottem for a long time now, looking into the dark things inside of me as they eat my ( Read more... )

Well, I've been keeping up this journal for a bit now. But so much has changed since Linds gave me this one. I think its about time I started a new one - you know, just to suit the times. LJ is free to everbody now - so none of that wierd key stuff that you used to have to do. God - just saying that makes me feel like a geezer, lol ( Read more... )

See - even more reason to not let yourself get down for too long. All it took was the afternoon off with my friends and I was feeling better again. So anyway - lets talk about my day. Josh couldn't pick me up so Dania had to. Grr - I need to drive. So anyway - we showed up late to the movie. It was funny - the two of us were walking into the mall ( Read more... )

I guess I was a little out of it today too. I don't know, there's just a lot of stupid stuff going around. I don't really know what to do about it. Things are just out of my control now, and not being able to do anything is kinda putting me down I guess. I feel more blank then anything. Jolene kept trying to ask me what was wrong, but I couldn't ( Read more... )

Today sucked. I don't know - I just started off having a bad day I guess. I hate first lunch - the only person I can hang out with then is Sara. I pretty much didn't get to see any of my other friends today. But thats O.K., I'm starting to get the feeling that no one even gives a damn whether I'm around or not. Today - when I was in my technical ( Read more... )

I'm actually happy right now - yeah at the cost of a little wierdness, but who cares? Whatever, I've also decided that I'm way to depressing at school. I'm gonna start being happy at school - no matter what. Yeah that'll mean I'm fake but who gives a damn? So - happy, but weird; a new chapter in my life - lol. I'll talk about the weirdness in my me ( Read more... )

Another stupid thing in my life. My friend Jolene and I really havent been talking for the last few weeks. I didn't know why she wasn't talking to me and it had a tendency of putting me down when I got to thinking about it. So I'm talking to Ross in one of my classes when he tells me that the reason that she dosn't talk to me is becuase she thinks ( Read more... )