i haven't written at all in weeks. not here, not in my journal. i don't know what to say. it feels like a battle to even pick up a pen. i feel uninspired, bored, stupid, tired, sick. every day i work and get loaded and watch tv, eat too much and fall asleep. i've been more social than usual, seeing friends at work and hanging out with various ( Read more... )

what a colossal waste of my time and space and energy. men love only that which they can smoke, drive, or fuck. i dare you to prove me wrong.

i'm sorry, that isn't fair.

humans love only that which they can partake of and control. i have no desire to share this planet a second longer with any of them.

tonight my mother told me that she didn't help me when i was sexually abused as a child because no one helped her when she was sexually abused as a child. "why should you have the priviledge?" were her exact words ( Read more... )

today i'm going to write about something i've never written about before, but i think i really need to have this discussion with myself. in my constant pursuit of truth, as you know, i have really focused on understanding my motivations. this forces me to examine my innate being, my subconscious, my childhood. and i feel that i need to tell you ( Read more... )

Capricorn ( Read more... )

we ate breakfast in the kitchen. we cooked eggs and poured coffee, poured orange juice. i was wearing a dark blue cotton pencil skirt with thick brown books and a grey sweater over a too-big black shirt. manu chao glistened through the air, thick already with smoke and food smells. i wrote a few sentences and then leaned backwards in my chair, ( Read more... )

what a delightful letter to wake up to! i wish i could remember more of the conversation we had that night. i can't express how much it means to me to receive something like this, to feel that someone genuinely understood and appreciated my ideas. isn't that what we all crave ( Read more... )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtA7YIFapnY&feature=fvwRead more... )

today i woke up early, so i made a pot of coffee and then walked to the grocery with lindsey and francisco. we bought enough food to last us a couple weeks, and we made omelettes for breakfast. i bopped around the house cleaning up and getting ready. i left for work early and stopped by whole foods for some delicious black bean & pomegranate salsa ( Read more... )

i lost my favorite hat today. the grey beanie with the red laura stevenson patch. it was so comfy, and i wore it at work all the time. and now it's gone, gone, gone. i walked back to union square from the cafe searching the streets, but to no avail. when i got back to the cafe, i ate a scoop of gelato and sat on the floor and cried. i pleaded with ( Read more... )