I grew a third big toe, its fuckin' rad.

Today was fun as hell, even though hell is most likely not a very fun place, but work with me. Uh..Today was fun as shit, and we all know that shit if fun! So today I grew little wings on my ankles and I could run really fast, so fast you couldn't see me. I ran all over the world. I ran through Germany, France, but i didn't see no underpants! But ( Read more... )

So yeahs dudes, check it out...I was eating an elephant when this troll strolls up and I am all "whoa! a strollin troll!" and he is all "you gots a ham sandwich?" and so I am like "No dawg but I gots me a mighty tasty elephant!" and then he goes "Damn son I axed you for a ham sandwich not no elephant!" so I just like "WHATEVA!" it was just like ( Read more... )

I think I was born with one, all powerful, immortal bug bite on my brain.

Hey Sam!
Oh Hey Steve, whats up?
Oh just shootin the shit.
Sweet. Oh check it out Steve check it out a survey!
Super Sam!

-HOLY SHIT ( Read more... )

Stick a fork in a electric socket...Ride the Lighting!!!!

....poop.

"Hello Nasty."
"Hey, man."
"So whats up?"
"Not much...Can I ask you something?"
"Shoot, Nasty."
"Why the hell are you naked holding a carton of orange juice?"
"Why not?"
"Fair enough."

"Hey Steve!"
"Oh shit! Whats up Sam!"
"Just playing battle ship."
"Sweet! Who you playin' with?"
"Myself."
"How does that work?"
"A-12!....Ah you sunk my cruiser!"
"Thats fucked Sam."
"Shutup Steve!"
"Eat Shit!"
"What did you say?"
"Nothing."
"E-4.....miss...shit!"

"Hello Nasty, long time."
"Hello."
"How's it going?"
"I am not grounded anymore."
"Really?"
"Yep, its pretty sweet."
"So what you going to do with all--Oh Jesus!"
"Sorry, I farted."
"Thats rank."
"Darn Tootin."
"Heh, you said tootin'."
"Heh, yeah I did."