Thank you God, for showing me WHY i have this disease. Thank you for showing me my path and why this has happened. I'm ready to do what you have obviously laid out for me. I am READY to help people like Kerstin who don't understand what is happening to them and why they are suffering with no answer. I felt SO wonderful Lord when i could help ( Read more... )

So...yeah i can't do this anymore. i'm disgusted with myself even as i type that, but I really can't. School...sick....school...sick...sick...sick....SICK....SICK!!!! I'm fucking tired of it. I am not functioning at all anymore, no matter how I try. I try to overachieve and it just gets thrown back in my face....because then i try to do too ( Read more... )

i guess i am not meant to have friends. i hate these kinds of revelations. I have been kicked, bruised, abused, and torn inside and i'm sick of it. perhaps i should just go it alone...this time on purpose instead of on accident.

You know what i decided? I'm no longer telling anyone that i feel sick/am sick. because by going so long without a genuine diagnosis, it makes me look like a hypochondriac. Soooooo...no more. i'll just fake it. and if i die, i die ( Read more... )

know what i just realized? God is my only true friend. because you NEVER know when one of the other ones will fuck you over. probably not the best way to look at life but oh well. That's how i feel right now.

i promised myself i would never let this happen to me ever again. and yet, here i am betrayed once again by a girl who i called one of my best friends ( Read more... )

dear God ( Read more... )

It's late. but i cannot sleep. so many thoughts running through my head. For the past two weeks it's been an up and down roller coaster. I dont' even know where to begin ( Read more... )

Wierd sickness continues. Stop-Go heart palpitations are still bothering me, making me dizzy, and disoriented. i also have lack of balance, or strength to do much more than stand for 30minutes at a time. i've been awake not so long today ((about 3-4 hours)) but i'm sitll majorly sleepy and it's kinda ridiculous now ( Read more... )