No entry, this song is just awesome and I wanted it on my livejournal.

Today I was contemplating decorative pottery. I know, I am just as surprised as you are. but as I was looking around my landlady's house I noticed that there is decorative pottery EVERYWHERE. I can't turn around without feeling their caked over clay eyes boring into my ass, perhaps thinking "hey, cute ass", but of course their perception of my ( Read more... )

"I don't follow my dreams anymore; I just ask them where they're going and hook up with em later"
-Mitch Hedberg

Monopoly is a pretty neat game because instead of someone just winning outright, a point will come in every game where someone will put up a hotel and collect vast sums of money, causing the other players to slowly waste away, selling of houses and mortgaging property as they fall deeper and deeper into a hole that becomes hopeless to get out of. ( Read more... )

Today I discovered something so inherently evil that it makes Hitler look like a children's show host. I know you are all dying to know what it is so I will not waste any time in coming swiftly to the point, much like a hummingbird will come swiftly to a feeding trough if you are the kind of person to set feeding troughs out for hummingbirds. ( Read more... )

So today I think I'm going to go for a change of pace and actually talk about my life today. I know, I know, it's not as original, but I kinda get a warm fuzzy feeling deep withing the cockles of my pants knowing I'm doing something right for once. So here goes ( Read more... )

Florida can suck my cock. Yes, all of Florida. Fucking poor excuse for a state.

So the other day I was finishing up my meal of a diet coke and a Russian baby when I had an amazing, thought. I was thinking not about the turbulent situation in the middle east, or why it burns when I pee ever since my wild night with "Bubbles", but about old people. Senile old people. Senile old people in old folks homes to be ultra ( Read more... )

Recently I have taken to asking friends and family members THE QUESTION. I think you know what I'm talking about here. It is that thing that keeps us awake at night pondering a proper answer and drives us to tears of rage when no clear solution is in sight. That question, dear readers, is: What would you do if you woke up one morning and found a ( Read more... )

I had a big thought earlier today ( Read more... )