The thing about moving all the time is that you build so many connections that are the tinniest part of you, in the whole scheme of things. It's like when you're on a run and you see things that you really enjoy, every now and again you stop to take in a really beautiful part of nature, or a nice view, and then you keep running and it goes. ( Read more... )

Tonight I drove him to the airport, and after we held each other for a long moment that temporarily evaded the inevitable, I walked away. That was it, goodbye, forever maybe. Then I made a huge scene at the paying booth at the parking garage and cried the whole way home. Wasted a lot of my night, and now it's almost 2:30 and i haven't packed for ( Read more... )

If you like somebody, really care for someone, at what point do you start putting other peoples happiness before your own? Say 'somebody' doesn't belong to you. Say by persuing your own happiness, you will in turn be taking the happiness of another person, a person who has never done anything malicious or unkind to you in the least. It gets more ( Read more... )

Follow me, he whisperes, It's routine. 2 minutes after I will follow and he will be waiting for me around the corner. I finish my drink and say my goodbyes. Now I am walking down a long empty hallway wearing a little black dress, it's all black dress code. My heels clack and echo as i stride through the dim lights and concrete pillars with corny ( Read more... )

that girl I have been trying to get back to all along. That care-free, free-spirited, happy girl who has been missing all these years. The girl with the confidence, and the girl with the spark. The girl who smiles. I am so in love with my new home, it is rare that i ever think about benicia or anything that was part of my old life. I miss my family ( Read more... )

Being a GO at club med is comparable to being famous. We are in the public eye all the time, and everybody, EVERYBODY wants to talk to you and get to know you. The drama is 90210 style and when you sleep with someone you can be sure that everyone will somehow find out within the week. We participate in shows in front of hundreds and get on stage to ( Read more... )

Here I sit complacently in my bed on the eve of my trip. In just 3 short hours I will be off to the airport and away from this town for the next 6 months. My bags are jam packed and I think I'm ready, materialistically anyway. Emotionally though I'm not quite sure how I feel about things. Truthfully I haven't done much thinking about it because I ( Read more... )

I was reading through my old entries from high school, particularly sophomore year,and it is so incredible to see how significantly my writing has changed. I certainly was a goofy awkward kid at 16, but god i had energy and spunk. Things were so god damn simple back then, and my life revolved around survivor, lifeguarding class, and the occasional ( Read more... )

it's so strange, but since moving down to san diego there has not been one moment of one day where i have felt the least bit homesick. I do miss my family, and i especially miss milo, but apart from that, i can't think of one reason why i would ever like to go home. Even for thanksgiving, there is a possibility that between my two jobs i would be ( Read more... )

It's a strange place i'm in right now, because i know i earlier described things as cycladic ups and downs these days but i just feel fragil. The other night I felt low, really low and i woke up feeling low, and i was that way for several hours and then everything just shifted back into normalcy. Generally when i sink low like that, things don't, ( Read more... )