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It is strange, now that I am back in Atlanta, the time in Houston seams almost dream like, and in a way I do understand that is my own doing, considereing I smoked most of the time I was there and here I am sober. Yet it is more than that, it is as if that part of my life is ending, and only the epilogue is left to fill in ( Read more... ) -
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I sit alone in a strange place of thought and avoidance, I sit and look at the world, and it seems strange. I look around beside my self and nothing is the same. My world falters, I have missed some important lesson, or 3 or five, I am stuck, and the universe keeps hitting my in the head. And I some how can not figure out why ( Read more... ) -
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I do find it odd that I still come back to writing like this to clear my head, it is a truly strange concept when you think about it.................My predominant feeling at the moment in life is one of disgust, Or perhaps less deep dissatisfaction, the world is not right, I feel that things are out of balance, and I am still trying to figure out ( Read more... ) -
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So last night, well technically this morning after I had written a good deal of some of my essays I decided to pass out and get some rest. Well I lay down get comfortable and warm, and try to relax my mind into sleep and the one thing that keeps running through my head is a basic assumption with mound and mounds of experiential data ( Read more... ) -
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So, I find my self again turning to this place to clear my mind. Sadly I know it will not work, I am lonely, and impatient, these two in combination, plus a good chunk of bad judgment (well may be it was not so bad, but who knows only time will tell) I know my problem, I even see why it has been so bad this time. I no longer have my mother, who ( Read more... ) -
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The issues of my skull are somewhat simpler now, and at the same time more complex. Night before last I had a perfect analogy for describing what the inside of my mind looked like, but I was drifting off to sleep when it hit so I can not remember it. I am currently bitter, but only over issues of my own creation, I am also optimistic, but that is ( Read more... ) -
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Well that settles it, David is out to his whole family, I am the only gay man I know, and also the oldest, who is not out to everyone in their lives. I feel strangely ambivalent to that, it might be that my mind is focused on paper, or that some part of me just does not care, or any combination of these and a host of other factors, but still, I ( Read more... ) -
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While playing a strategy game, I just asked my self why does the enemy not attack....................then the sarcastic part of my brain said, yes my defenses would go down like a cheerleader on prom night.........................Then the vindictive manipulative part of my mind, which when it has no other targets focuses on me said Yup almost as ( Read more... ) -
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at times when my brain is too full I still find my self coming here to empty it, I find this rather strange ( Read more... ) -
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What do you do when you are drowning in a sea of appathy,, beacuse any help only keeps me from working, but to actually care again, now that is another thing entirly ( Read more... )