(Untitled)

[akutsurocksdesu]

SO I WROTE SOMETHING DESU. I DON'T THINK IT'S VERY GOOD BUT I TRIED REALLY HARD DESU!

TITLE: SEMPAI
AUTHOR: DADADADAN
RATING: I DON'T KNOW DESU MAYBE G DESU?

ONCE UPON A TIME I THINK STORIES ARE SUPPOSED TO START WITH ONCE UPON A TIME BUT I'M NOT SURE DESU :\ ANYWAY ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A BOY. HIS NAME WAS DAN RAN AND HE LIKED TENNIS BUT

Comments

[mutedmumbles]

you seem like a very happy sort of kid, dan-kun, and it definitely shows in your writing. keep up the good work.

[akutsurocksdesu]

THANK YOU SO MUCH DESU :) :) :) I WILL TRY HARD DESU ESPECIALLY SINCE YOUR WRITING WAS SO GOOD DESU AND REMINDED ME SO MUCH OF AKUTSU-SEMPAI DESU! *__*
I HAVE SO MANY INSPIRING SEMPAI DESU!

[princeofwriting]

At this rate you're never going to be able to write like me. Mada mada dane...

[honestlyharry]

Well, it's not bad for a first try, but I have to agree that the capslock does make it rather tedious to read.

You have... lovely... narrative sense, though. Yes.

[otaku_renge]

While Renge has DEFINITELY seen better, this does have its charm. It's too bad that its all-caps and lack of a real plot make my eyes bleed.

[msbananana]

You're cute, but I'm sorry, I just couldn't get into it. I'd suggest start reviewing basic grammar and sentence structure.