I slam the door in the face of 2010 and walk away with a pronounced limp, an empty bank account and a vague sense of disorientation.

Read of my latest unbelievable adventure at The Art of Desperate Living. Guaranteed to make you feel better about your own life, or your money back!

Hi LJ Friends (assuming there are any of you left here)! If you'd like to see what I've been up to, could use a good laugh or simply enjoy reveling in another human being's misfortune at a safe distance, then The Art of Desperate Living is for you!

Yesterday afternoon, a Thursday around two o’clock, there was an unexpected knock at my door. Thinking it might be my neighbor from upstairs, I open the door to a man wearing a hardhat and carrying a clipboard. He’s glancing over some papers and takes his time before looking up. He introduced himself as a heartless minion of BGE, our chosen ( Read more... )

Monday night I went to pick up my son, who is now six-years old, at his mom's house. He answered the door wearing a blazer and tie and looking mighty sharp. I asked him if it was picture day at school. He said, "No, I had a play date with Cheyenne." He was very serious. How many six-year olds wear a jacket and tie to a play date? I found it ( Read more... )

Oh LJ, how I've neglected you! I've gone a full six months without posting or even following friend's posts. It's not like I have nothing going on in my life worthy of comment. Quite the opposite. Maybe that's the problem. It's hard to know where to start or when to stop. So I'll just ease myself back into the waters and give a brief synopsis ( Read more... )

Damn, I wish I'd written this Steely Dan song ( Read more... )

As if I didn't spend enough time on the interwebs, I've just expanded my media empire by creating a blog that just might be of some value to someone.
The Art Of Desperate Living

My new favorite question to ask Maxwell, my five-year old, is the classic "what do you want to be when you grow up." His latest ambition? Gorilla trainer. Specifically, he wants to teach gorillas how to say "I love you." If anyone can do it would be him.

So, It's St. Patrick's day, well, technically the day after St. Patrick's day as it's 1:14 a.m. I hadn't celebrated the holiday properly, meaning I'm completely sober. I'd had four cups of coffee at an unreasonable hour and had a hankerin' to go out for a midnight run ( Read more... )