I have the exact same problem. On the one hand, people I don't know make me nervous/angry/ill and the thought of them looking at me and forming opinions based on my looks and probably assuming they are better than me though I could crush their minds with my own makes me unsettled in countless ways, but also I hate sitting inside by myself and I yearn for adventure! To feel the love of beautiful things, to see rivers, mountains, to wear a sword instead of a walking stick...just once...
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