I've never regretted it until tonight. Still not even at first, just now, now I just wish. Maybe I ask too much of people. Maybe i'm destined to lead a life of loneliness because it seems that in the end that's all i'll ever know. So much i've just given up on, yet here's the one thing I can't bring myself to walk away from and I can't figure ( Read more... )

Well I guess not many use lj anymore. Heck I haven't since January. It's amazing how much has changed since then. I visited Mel at the end of March, but missed Dashboard due to some circumstances. Went to Jess's wedding in June in Ohio, that was fun but really busy. I got another dog, named her Rory. Brother totaled the dodge. Moved to a new ( Read more... )

Right now my puppy is sleeping next to the door, listening to all the sounds the house makes. He really does make me feel a little safer, even though all I think he would do is lick an intruder to death. Anywho. I bought a car yesterday. Yes me, bought a car. I can't believe I bought a car. It's insane. Brother totaled his truck, parents ( Read more... )

So tomorrow is the big day, and thus far the few people I did invite aren't going to hang out with me the whole time. Only one, and well I haven't ever hung out with her before. It's the new admin clerk at work, she's cool, but it would have been nice to have my friends there. Instead i'll have the girl from work, my parents, my aunt, and Ben. ( Read more... )

I don't wright like I use to. Not that I was any good at it really, but I do miss it. I think through writing I was able to work out a lot of problems. I tried the whole talking technique, but that doesn't seem to work as well right now. I mean how hard is it to make the same words come out of your mouth as you would wright. I'm seriously ( Read more... )

The only thing I don't like about nights like this is it gives me entirely too much time to think. I hate thinking, I do truly wish that I could get my mind to stop it sometimes. I was fine, and finally doing well until I was told about something. Why is it, just when things get straight in my head, the one thing that screws it up, shows up. ( Read more... )

Well it's been a while since I last posted in here. A lot has changed. I am now finally in my own place. That's right I'm almost 21 and i'm just now finally out on my own. It's quite a new experience for me. Especially on nights like tonight when he's out plowing. Which is nice though becauese it means more money. Oh and the second bit of ( Read more... )

If you were to ask me I think it was the move from Kansas. That's what did it to me. All the other ones seemed easier. Maybe because by the time I left all of my friends had just left. Kansas was different though. It physically hurt. I can still remember driving in the car, looking out the window at the stars, and wishing soooo hard that ( Read more... )

I guess maybe it's just more of i'm tired of waiting around for something that's never going to happen. Maybe it's just not meant to be and no matter how hard we try to fight it's still doomed anyways. Because no matter how hard we try we'll never be happy. He'll be out, and i'll be here, and yet neither one of us will understand the other. He' ( Read more... )

So did lots of shopping today and got some Christmas stuff done. That and i'm scarve making like crazy. I'm trying to get as many done as I can. I'm selling them this weekend at Crafter's Emporium. I know they probably won't do that well cause you see them everywhere cause they are easy to make once you learn how to crochet. But his mom wants ( Read more... )