I just got off the exercise bike for the night - Pat has me working out on it every day to help me work out some stress and try to get some of this weight off. (I say Pat has me, but I'm a willing participant!) I called about counseling, but they said it would be a week before they would call me back (although I think it has been a week, so I ( Read more... )

It's 5am, I'm still awake. I cried most of today. Everything makes me burst into tears. I'm so fragile, I feel like I'm losing my mind. My grief is all-consuming. I hate my job and I just dread going every day. I miss my mom. I miss my dad. I feel like Pat is all I have, and I'm so deathly afraid to lose him. Agh, now I'm crying again ( Read more... )

So far ( Read more... )

My mom passed away today. She was at home and the nurses had just left and my aunt stepped out to the store to grab a few things, so it was just she and I. Her breathing started to change like the nurses warned me about - where she would take a breath, hold it, then let it out, and the spaces between taking the breath and letting it out got longer ( Read more... )

A little while ago, I posted that I went to my breast specialist and had a little biopsy of a tiny bump that I thought was nothing and the doctor thought was nothing, but wanted to check anyway, and it turns out it was nothing! So that's good ( Read more... )

Today I mailed back a dvd to Netflix of a ballet workout I did *once* and then promptly sat at my house for 2 1/2 months. Obviously, I am committed to fitness. :-P ( Read more... )

I'm home tonight, which I've been relishing. I snuggled cats and made a proper dinner and cleaned the whole kitchen (and also took a nap in my own bed). Pat even emerged from the game room to eat dinner with me. Score! Lol. Now Lola is sleeping next to me while I pick out pictures to put in the picture frames I got for Christmas. I think one frame ( Read more... )

Today I went back to my breast specialist, who I first saw last year when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I have seen her a couple times since then, and I have a lot of faith in her - she really knows her stuff. Unfortunately, I had to see her new nurse practitioner first, who used to work at the Cancer Center I go to. I really don't like her. ( Read more... )

I would really love to go take a nap right now. Erg. Unfortunately for me, I still have a little shopping to do, so it's off to the stores after work! I have to get a few things for Pat and pick up one thing for my mom and then I'm done. (Next up: wrapping. Eek ( Read more... )