FIC: KHR! - *Heroes not Included - Part II ~ Chapter 3
Title: *Heroes not Included
Part II: Abort, Retry, Fail
Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn
Pairing: 1859 (established), 8059 (unrequited)
Genre: Humour, case fic, AU
Rating: PG-13 (applies to all chapters unless otherwise stated)
Word count: overall ~ 28,650 | Chapter 3: ~ 4,230
Chapters (click to jump to): 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
Jump to Part I - No Replacements, No Refunds
Master post
~*~*~
~ Part II ~
Abort, Retry, Fail
Gokudera spent the greater part of the morning feeling like shit. Hibari obviously knew quite well that something was up but he chose to wait for what Gokudera would do. That wasn't typical behaviour but Gokudera could easily guess where this was going.
In many ways Hibari was a lot easier to handle than any other partner Gokudera had ever had. He pretty much had one single rule: Don't fuck this up.
The complicated part was to meet this expectation. Gokudera had a strong suspicion that he was in the process of breaking this very rule. What worried him was that he was actually feeling bad about it.
So bad, in fact, that he was glad to hear from Shamal.
"What do you mean 'nothing'?" Gokudera was pacing on the parking lot again, pretending to enjoy a quiet smoke. It was the only thing he enjoyed at the moment.
"I mean exactly what I said, Hayato." Shamal gave a sigh that sounded exhausted even over the phone. "There's nothing on the photograph. Nothing that may tell us who sent it to you. Even the print on the back is generic."
"Come on, there's gotta be something." Gokudera knew he was being unfair but he was clutching at straws. It was half past ten and he wasn't exactly looking forward to his lunch break. He would have felt infinitely better if he'd had something tangible about his blind date.
"I can have a friend run a few more tests but that's gonna take some time."
Gokudera pinched the bridge of his nose. He quickly glanced at his watch and winced. "Time that I don't have. Fuck."
"Maybe you should tell your FBI friend about this." Shamal's voice took on a more serious tone. "Somebody obviously went through a lot of trouble to pull this off. Whoever they are, they have bigger plans. Plans that might be a bit too big for you."
None of that was any news to Gokudera. "I can't tell him. I can't risk having the bloody FBI storm the whole place before I know if sis is alright."
"Look, all I'm saying is that a little backup might not be the worst idea."
Gokudera couldn't deny that he would have indeed felt a lot more confident if he'd had someone watching his back. But as a lone wolf operation at least he could be sure that if this went south he would only have himself to blame.
"I'll tell him as soon as I know more." Gokudera put out his cigarette and headed back towards the elevator. "It's just too early. I need to do this alone. And besides, whoever's behind this obviously wants something from me, so they're probably not gonna shoot me right away."
"Let's hope you're right."
"Is that your version of pep talk, old man? Because if it is it's not very effective." Gokudera joked but neither of them was laughing.
"I try not to encourage suicide missions, Hayato."
"Good fucking God, man, you talk like I'm planning to commit Harakiri." Gokudera huffed, calling the elevator by repeatedly punching the button with the side of his fist - as if that helped. "What's the worst that can happen?"
"Do I really need to make you a list?"
"Fuck you. I can take care of myself," Gokudera snarled and stepped into the small cabin. "I'll call you when I get back."
"You do that. Just be careful, okay?"
"Always am." He ended the call and slipped the cell phone into his pocket before Shamal could call him a liar.
---
Noon neared with heavy, possibly lethal footsteps. Gokudera managed to excuse himself from the office by mumbling something about meeting a contact concerning the stolen source code. He only told Kusakabe, hoping to avoid any questioning looks and inconvenient FBI tails.
Yet he kept checking if he was being followed all the way to the coffee shop.
The shop was crowded and filled with all kinds of customers - from business men with polished leather shoes to students with shabby backpacks. It was impossible to determine who Gokudera was supposed to be looking for.
When nobody approached him he figured he might as well take advantage of being in a coffee shop. He rummaged in his pockets for some small change and tried to figure out which blend to order when the barista handed him a cup.
"I didn't order that." Gokudera frowned.
"It's already been paid for, Sir." The barista smiled at him and placed the cup on the counter right in front of Gokudera.
"Well, I don't care," Gokudera hissed, "I don't want it. I want a-"
He glanced at the wobbly writing on the cup. I took him a moment before he realised that it had nothing to do with coffee.
Go to the men's room. Take the cup.
Gokudera stared at the paperback mug for a long moment and tried to figure out why there was a smiley scribbled below the instructions.
"Anything wrong, Sir?" The barista asked and Gokudera was sure he could answer that with a definite 'yes'. But that would hardly help.
"No. No, everything's fine." Gokudera hoped his expression matched his words. "Where's the toilet?"
The barista gestured towards the far end of the shop. Gokudera took his funny cup of coffee and headed off to the restrooms. He had no idea what to expect but at first he was thoroughly disappointed. When he entered the room he found it completely empty.
He checked all the stalls for any more hidden messages but all he found were some offensive rhymes and a couple of declarations of everlasting love, decorated with happily grinning penises. Gokudera was beginning to get annoyed. If he'd known they were going to play hide and seek he would have preferred to do it after hours. Hibari was pretty tight on working hours.
He stood in the middle of the room, literally kicking his heels, when something poked him in the back.
"What the f-"
"Please, don't turn around." A deep and not necessarily unpleasant voice commanded. The sensation between Gokudera's shoulder blades turned strangely pointy.
Despite the warning, Gokudera twisted his head to see, "Shit. Who are you-... Wait. Is that a sword?"
"Yes, it is," His attacker sounded awfully cheery, "and I would hate to use it. Now, if you would please take a drink from your coffee?"
"The fuck I will." Gokudera protested, whirling around. He fully intended to throw the cup into the stranger's face but having the sharp edge of what looked like a katana scrape along his neck made him reconsider. His captor was fast. He also happened to be stunningly good-looking.
"Please." The young man was smiling. That alone was not weird - but that it actually reached his eyes was. "It's just a safety precaution. I promise nothing will happen to you."
Gokudera tentatively poked the sword, grimacing. "I'm not sure I believe you."
For a short moment the pressure on Gokudera's neck increased. And then it was gone all together. In one impossibly swift move the stranger had the sword sheathed behind his back. Gokudera was starting to wonder if this guy was as fast as Hibari.
"Fair enough." The man gave Gokudera another strangely amicable smile and pointed at the cup: "Please. We don't have much time."
Gokudera glanced down at the cup in his hands. Then he looked up at the young man. He seemed to be of Japanese descent with jet-black hair that appeared to be stuck in a constant state of morning excitement. He was remarkably tall but he held himself like someone who was enjoying a sunny day at the park. Despite his exquisite suit and the impressive sword he gave off a surprisingly relaxed vibe. He was the epitome of 'likeable' - which was odd for someone who might as well have been sent to decapitate Gokudera.
And the way he saw it he was about to place his life in the hands of that man. It might not have been the most stupid thing Gokudera had ever done but it definitely made it into the top ten.
"I swear, if you try anything... kinky...," Gokudera wasn't sure how to threaten a man with a sword, so he left that to the guy's imagination.
The stranger laughed. "You're safe with me. Don't worry."
Gokudera scowled but brought the cup to his lips. It was cold. He hadn't even noticed that. He took a sip, almost sputtering clear liquid all over the place. It wasn't coffee either.
"Yuck," Gokudera grimaced, "what the fuck is that? Tastes like shi-"
'Shit' was the word he'd been looking for. But he never found it on account of blacking out.
---
Gokudera woke up perched on a massive armchair in a dimly-lit room. He tried to move but quickly realised that he'd been tied down. Thick bands of tape crisscrossed all over his torso. Handcuffs held his wrists together.
Admittedly, he was beginning to get sick of waking up in dark places, tied to things. It was getting old.
"You're awake. Good."
Gokudera peered into the shadows on the opposite side of the small coffee table. His eyes were starting to adjust to the poor lighting but all he could make out was a slightly darker shadow that might or might not have been a human being. The tone of voice suggested he was talking to a man. He had a heavy accent; vaguely Asian, if Gokudera were forced to guess.
"Who the fuck are you?" Gokudera demanded immediately. He had never been known for his polite manners.
"I say you are hardly in the position to ask rude questions." There was movement in the shadows. Something in the way the man spoke made Gokudera think of old generals - used to giving orders and having them obeyed without hesitation. Gokudera did not deal well with authority.
"I'm gonna be rude until you tell me what position I'm in." Gokudera scowled and if he hadn't been restrained he would have crossed his arms in front of his chest in defiance.
"You were brought here because I have a proposition for you." Footsteps indicated that the man was coming towards Gokudera. They were slow, deliberate and precise, as if his captor was taking extra care to make his heels click on the concrete floor.
The stranger stepped into the pool of light that surrounded the table. He was wearing a traditional yukata but somehow he managed to wear it like a suit. It should have been impossible with something that was basically a glorified bathrobe in Gokudera's opinion but it looked strangely imposing.
"You can tell me all about that after you've told me where my sister is," Gokudera snarled as the man carefully arranged himself on the couch on the other side of the table. There was something in his movements that screamed familiarity to Gokudera but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.
"Your sister is fine." The man didn't smile. It was almost as if his face didn't even possess the necessary muscles. He appeared to be in his fifties and Gokudera had definitely been right with his guess about the man's origins.
"Not an answer." Gokudera leaned back as best as he could to make it clear that any further negotiations were futile unless he got some proper information on Bianchi's whereabouts.
The man arched an eyebrow and all the alarm bells in Gokudera's head went off. He just couldn't say why.
"You demand a lot for someone tied to a chair," the man concluded coldly.
"Untie me and see if I get better at listening." Gokudera raised his chin in an open challenge. He doubted that he would get very far if he tried to run. Besides, they both wanted something from the respective other - they were merely in the process of setting the terms. A little give and take was required.
The man regarded him like some sort of precarious chemical experiment but then seemed to decide that Gokudera was unlikely to explode. He made a curt gesture towards someone behind Gokudera.
Well, that was unsettling. Until now Gokudera hadn't even realised anybody else was in the room. He soon found out why when he twisted his head to see who his kidnapper's little helper was.
The young guy from the coffee shop gave him a brilliant smile. It contradicted strongly with the sword he was pulling from its sheath on his back. He twirled it twice in one hand, the blade a silent silvery blur.
Show-off. Gokudera rolled his eyes at the action. Hibari did that sometimes too. He mainly did it because it was a much cooler way to adjust his grip on the tonfa than fumbling with both hands. It was accidentally impressive.
Gokudera was jerked out of his thoughts by a katana coming down mere inches from his face. He didn't even have time to flinch, which was probably a good thing. Otherwise he might have been missing an arm now.
The blade sliced neatly through the tape binding him. It never even touched Gokudera's jacket.
"There. I assume you are willing to cooperate now?" Gokudera's opposite waved the young swordsman away who vanished with a short nod and another one of those smiles that oozed inappropriate happiness all over the place. The creepy part was that he seemed to downright melt into the darkness; as if he'd never even been there.
Gokudera stared at the spot where he he'd lost sight of the man, wiggling uncomfortably in his seat. No retreating footsteps - so either he was still in the room or he was wearing sound-absorbing slippers. Possibly with bunnies on them. Gokudera shuddered at either of these thoughts.
He returned his gaze to the swordsman's boss and held up his handcuffed hands: "You forgot something."
There was a blink-and-you'll-miss-it smile. "You have a reputation. Some safety measures are in order, I think."
Gokudera decidedly did not grin proudly. His chest might have swelled a little though. "Yeah. I pick locks. Bad choice, if you ask me."
"Can you also pick swords?" The man nodded towards the darkness. There was definitely a smile on his face now and Gokudera did not like its wicked undertones.
He swallowed and refrained from casting a look over his shoulder. For all he could tell this sword-wielding dork was easily on par with Hibari. He had absolutely no desire to put that theory to a test.
"Alright." Gokudera sat back, "I'm listening."
"Good," the man ascertained. "As for your question: your sister is in Italy. She is unharmed but we are... watching her. Very closely."
Yeah, through the scope of a fucking rifle, you bastards, Gokudera thought and it took all of his self-control not to flip this guy the bird and beat the everloving fuck out of him for threatening Bianchi.
Gokudera's hands curled into fists in his lap. He was pretty sure his conversational partner noticed but it didn't seem to bother him.
"I get it," Gokudera spat. "If I don't do what you want my sister is going to have 'an unfortunate accident', right?"
The man didn't reply but his expression was answer enough. It was funny because until now Gokudera had been sure that there was only one person on this planet who was able to convey so much with so little facial muscle movement.
"Okay," Gokudera sighed, "what do you want?"
His opposite offered him a thin smile that was one part satisfaction and two parts superiority. Gokudera ignored it. He'd seen this kind of smile before and it never ceased to grate on his nerves.
"Tea?"
"What?" Gokudera stared at the stranger.
"Business is best discussed over tea. Have some."
Have some. Not 'Would you like some?' or 'How about some tea?', no. That wasn't a question, this was a freaking order. The man clicked his fingers and a moment later the swordsman emerged with a tray.
"I don't want your fucking tea," Gokudera snapped as the young man sat down two delicate cups and a teapot, "I want to know what's going on and be done with it."
"Hold your tongue," the boss said calmly while pouring them some tea, "or Kaneda here will cut it off."
Gokudera took a deep breath to unleash a tirade of assorted variations of the f-word onto his captor but he stopped instantly when he felt something cold and sharp against his throat. That was... unexpected. He hadn't even noticed 'Kaneda' drawing his sword.
However, Gokudera figured he would witness it first hand when Kaneda used it. He would miss his tongue. Hibari would miss his tongue. So he kept his mouth shut and tried not to move too much.
"I see we understand each other." The older man picked up his cup and took a tiny sip before waving the swordsman off into the shadows. With a small zing noise the steel warning was gone, as was its wielder. Seriously, this guy was beginning to give Gokudera the creeps. Nobody could exude this level of happiness while threatening to cut off somebody's head. Except, of course, if that person was a complete and utter madman.
Gokudera considered this the most likely option. But at least he could stop calling the guy 'sword idiot' in his head now.
"I want you to do what you do best, Gokudera-kun." The man put down his cup, nudging it around until the intricate design of a bird was facing Gokudera’s way, and gave him a knowing look. "I want you to steal something."
Gokudera wasn't listening. He was staring at the cup. He knew one person, and one person only who was OCD enough to care which way the print on a freaking tea cup was pointing. What were the odds of two people having the exact same quirk? Well, it wasn't entirely impossible, Gokudera figured but there were other clues as well. The hair, the sharp eyes, the precise, effective movements, never more than needed but enough to get the point across.
This couldn't possibly be a coincidence.
"Oh fuck. You're his father." Gokudera gaped at the man. It took him a moment to realise his mistake.
Gokudera closed his eyes and silently counted to ten, hoping that when he was done he would still be alive. "I just said that out loud, didn't I?"
"Indeed you did," Hibari's father noted calmly. "But don't worry. I know that you are... involved with my son. While I can't approve of his personal tastes he is still my son. He must not know about any of this. Are we clear?"
Gokudera swallowed and nodded carefully. He wasn't sure how to tell Hibari about this incident anyway. Something told him that Hibari wouldn't appreciate a conversation starting with: 'Hey, I met your dad today. Nice chap. Bit on the creepy side but now we know where you got that from.'
"At least that takes care of the rumours at work," Gokudera mumbled once he had processed the initial shock.
Hibari senior arched an eyebrow and Gokudera sighed, gesturing vaguely. "They think he's the prototype of a military experiment in bionics."
Hibari's dad seemed to consider this for a moment but then shook his head. "That's ridiculous."
"That's exactly what he said." Gokudera frowned. "Literally, exactly what he said."
"Well, I think that's enough talk about my family," the elder Hibari commanded in a tone that suggested any more comments on this topic would be cut down in a very physical sense. "Back to my initial proposal. I need you to steal something for me."
"You do realise that I'm wearing an electronic anklet and work for the FBI, right?"
Hibari's father shot him a glance that clearly indicated that this was no news to him and would Gokudera please shut the hell up?
"I did notice that, yes. You'll have to find a way around that."
It was fortunate that Gokudera hadn't touched the tea yet because he would have sputtered it all over the table right about now. "How the hell do you expect me to pull off a heist with your son constantly looking over my shoulder? During my fucking toilet break?"
His conversational partner gave him a look that brought to mind chop-chop motions, a big-ass sword and various non-essential yet beloved bodyparts. "Have you ever wished to be an only child?"
Actually, on occasion he had but this appeared to be a rhetorical question. Gokudera threw his hands up in defeat. "Fine, I'll try my best."
"I expect nothing less."
Gokudera rolled his eyes. The Hibari family obviously shared a common misconception: that everything always went their way. It would have been so much more amusing if they weren't proven right most of the time.
"Are you gonna tell me what I'm stealing or do I have to figure that out myself?" Gokudera grumbled.
"Your target will be Neuberg BioChem. Kaneda will assist you. He will fill you in on the details."
"Wait, wait, wait...," Gokudera frowned. That name definitely rang a bell. He'd seen it somewhere before. "Of course! That's one of the companies employing Gilbert's algorithm. Wait, that means-"
Gokudera gaped at Hibari's father, who sat there like a monument - immovable and not at all impressed, "- the break-in at that video game company... that was you?"
Hibari senior refused to acknowledge this but he hummed quietly while sipping on his tea which was as much confirmation as Gokudera would ever get.
Gokudera sat back. "You know, next time you should just get a hacker. Your guys did a piss-poor job there."
Hibari's father nodded. "I can't argue that. That's why it was their last job."
Somehow his tone of voice made the word 'last' sound like a heavy concrete block dropping into the ocean - possibly with some human feet in it.
Gokudera tried to ignore the mental image. "Okay, so... what the hell could you want from a biochemistry firm?"
"I don't recall this being any of your business."
"I'm supposed to steal it, so I gotta know what it is, old m-," he stopped himself before he could insult the only other being on earth who could force people into committing suicide simply by glaring at them. He firmly pressed his lips together to keep his loose tongue from worsening his situation.
Hibari the elder seemed to appreciate the gesture. He smiled almost amicably, which was probably the scariest facial expression he had yet to exhibit. "It will be revealed to you when I see fit. For now, all you need to know is that it is hardly larger than this teapot."
Gokudera eyed the teapot. His mind was already racing, going through all the objects that might be worth stealing at such a company. He highly doubted they were after genetically enhanced tea leaves though.
"Kaneda will provide you with anything you need. That will be all." With a wave of his hand Hibari's father summoned the swordsman out of nowhere. "Have some tea before you go. It's a special blend."
Gokudera grimaced. The last time he'd had a 'special blend' he'd ended up tied to a chair. He watched the older Hibari gracefully stand up. The man gestured towards Gokudera's cup. "It was not an offer, Gokudera-kun. Drink it."
"I was afraid you might say that," Gokudera mumbled but picked up the cup anyway. Between a headache and death by sword he chose the former.
"One last question before you leave," Hibari's father suddenly turned around, already half-vanished into the dark, "does he... does he sometimes speak of me?"
Gokudera was startled by the hesitation in the old man's voice. That was a 180° turn in attitude. The sad thing was that Gokudera knew from personal experience that father-son relationships didn't always work both ways. "No, not really. The last time a conversation veered off in that direction I spent the night at the hospital with a concussion."
For some reason, that produced a small, oddly proud smile on the elder Hibari's face. He didn't say anything else, just gave a curt nod and disappeared. It made Gokudera wonder if all Hibaris were like this. They probably even had their dogs trained in various martial arts. Ninja-dogs; it seemed horribly plausible.
"Gokudera?" Kaneda asked tentatively when Gokudera didn't move. "The tea. Please."
He smiled broadly, beckoning for Gokudera to drink.
"Do I have to? Can't you just fucking blindfold me or something?"
Kaneda gave a tingling laugh, bright and open and not at all like someone whose main occupation was lurking in the shadows and slicing off important limbs. "I'm sorry. Boss's orders. But don't worry, I'll get you back safe and sound."
He grinned so widely Gokudera almost feared his head would split in two. Strangely enough, Gokudera believed him. He also made a mental note to get an MRI exam because that was not a natural reaction towards someone holding a sword.
"Shit." Gokudera sighed and took a gulp from the now lukewarm tea. "God, this stuff doesn't get any better if you put it in tea. Do me a favour, next time your boss wants to hold a meeting? Just hit me around the h-"
The effect would have been the same - blacking out was blacking out.
~*~*~
Chapter 2 <-- Back to | On to --> Chapter 4
Part II: Abort, Retry, Fail
Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn
Pairing: 1859 (established), 8059 (unrequited)
Genre: Humour, case fic, AU
Rating: PG-13 (applies to all chapters unless otherwise stated)
Word count: overall ~ 28,650 | Chapter 3: ~ 4,230
Chapters (click to jump to): 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
Jump to Part I - No Replacements, No Refunds
Master post
~*~*~
~ Part II ~
Abort, Retry, Fail
Gokudera spent the greater part of the morning feeling like shit. Hibari obviously knew quite well that something was up but he chose to wait for what Gokudera would do. That wasn't typical behaviour but Gokudera could easily guess where this was going.
In many ways Hibari was a lot easier to handle than any other partner Gokudera had ever had. He pretty much had one single rule: Don't fuck this up.
The complicated part was to meet this expectation. Gokudera had a strong suspicion that he was in the process of breaking this very rule. What worried him was that he was actually feeling bad about it.
So bad, in fact, that he was glad to hear from Shamal.
"What do you mean 'nothing'?" Gokudera was pacing on the parking lot again, pretending to enjoy a quiet smoke. It was the only thing he enjoyed at the moment.
"I mean exactly what I said, Hayato." Shamal gave a sigh that sounded exhausted even over the phone. "There's nothing on the photograph. Nothing that may tell us who sent it to you. Even the print on the back is generic."
"Come on, there's gotta be something." Gokudera knew he was being unfair but he was clutching at straws. It was half past ten and he wasn't exactly looking forward to his lunch break. He would have felt infinitely better if he'd had something tangible about his blind date.
"I can have a friend run a few more tests but that's gonna take some time."
Gokudera pinched the bridge of his nose. He quickly glanced at his watch and winced. "Time that I don't have. Fuck."
"Maybe you should tell your FBI friend about this." Shamal's voice took on a more serious tone. "Somebody obviously went through a lot of trouble to pull this off. Whoever they are, they have bigger plans. Plans that might be a bit too big for you."
None of that was any news to Gokudera. "I can't tell him. I can't risk having the bloody FBI storm the whole place before I know if sis is alright."
"Look, all I'm saying is that a little backup might not be the worst idea."
Gokudera couldn't deny that he would have indeed felt a lot more confident if he'd had someone watching his back. But as a lone wolf operation at least he could be sure that if this went south he would only have himself to blame.
"I'll tell him as soon as I know more." Gokudera put out his cigarette and headed back towards the elevator. "It's just too early. I need to do this alone. And besides, whoever's behind this obviously wants something from me, so they're probably not gonna shoot me right away."
"Let's hope you're right."
"Is that your version of pep talk, old man? Because if it is it's not very effective." Gokudera joked but neither of them was laughing.
"I try not to encourage suicide missions, Hayato."
"Good fucking God, man, you talk like I'm planning to commit Harakiri." Gokudera huffed, calling the elevator by repeatedly punching the button with the side of his fist - as if that helped. "What's the worst that can happen?"
"Do I really need to make you a list?"
"Fuck you. I can take care of myself," Gokudera snarled and stepped into the small cabin. "I'll call you when I get back."
"You do that. Just be careful, okay?"
"Always am." He ended the call and slipped the cell phone into his pocket before Shamal could call him a liar.
---
Noon neared with heavy, possibly lethal footsteps. Gokudera managed to excuse himself from the office by mumbling something about meeting a contact concerning the stolen source code. He only told Kusakabe, hoping to avoid any questioning looks and inconvenient FBI tails.
Yet he kept checking if he was being followed all the way to the coffee shop.
The shop was crowded and filled with all kinds of customers - from business men with polished leather shoes to students with shabby backpacks. It was impossible to determine who Gokudera was supposed to be looking for.
When nobody approached him he figured he might as well take advantage of being in a coffee shop. He rummaged in his pockets for some small change and tried to figure out which blend to order when the barista handed him a cup.
"I didn't order that." Gokudera frowned.
"It's already been paid for, Sir." The barista smiled at him and placed the cup on the counter right in front of Gokudera.
"Well, I don't care," Gokudera hissed, "I don't want it. I want a-"
He glanced at the wobbly writing on the cup. I took him a moment before he realised that it had nothing to do with coffee.
Go to the men's room. Take the cup.
Gokudera stared at the paperback mug for a long moment and tried to figure out why there was a smiley scribbled below the instructions.
"Anything wrong, Sir?" The barista asked and Gokudera was sure he could answer that with a definite 'yes'. But that would hardly help.
"No. No, everything's fine." Gokudera hoped his expression matched his words. "Where's the toilet?"
The barista gestured towards the far end of the shop. Gokudera took his funny cup of coffee and headed off to the restrooms. He had no idea what to expect but at first he was thoroughly disappointed. When he entered the room he found it completely empty.
He checked all the stalls for any more hidden messages but all he found were some offensive rhymes and a couple of declarations of everlasting love, decorated with happily grinning penises. Gokudera was beginning to get annoyed. If he'd known they were going to play hide and seek he would have preferred to do it after hours. Hibari was pretty tight on working hours.
He stood in the middle of the room, literally kicking his heels, when something poked him in the back.
"What the f-"
"Please, don't turn around." A deep and not necessarily unpleasant voice commanded. The sensation between Gokudera's shoulder blades turned strangely pointy.
Despite the warning, Gokudera twisted his head to see, "Shit. Who are you-... Wait. Is that a sword?"
"Yes, it is," His attacker sounded awfully cheery, "and I would hate to use it. Now, if you would please take a drink from your coffee?"
"The fuck I will." Gokudera protested, whirling around. He fully intended to throw the cup into the stranger's face but having the sharp edge of what looked like a katana scrape along his neck made him reconsider. His captor was fast. He also happened to be stunningly good-looking.
"Please." The young man was smiling. That alone was not weird - but that it actually reached his eyes was. "It's just a safety precaution. I promise nothing will happen to you."
Gokudera tentatively poked the sword, grimacing. "I'm not sure I believe you."
For a short moment the pressure on Gokudera's neck increased. And then it was gone all together. In one impossibly swift move the stranger had the sword sheathed behind his back. Gokudera was starting to wonder if this guy was as fast as Hibari.
"Fair enough." The man gave Gokudera another strangely amicable smile and pointed at the cup: "Please. We don't have much time."
Gokudera glanced down at the cup in his hands. Then he looked up at the young man. He seemed to be of Japanese descent with jet-black hair that appeared to be stuck in a constant state of morning excitement. He was remarkably tall but he held himself like someone who was enjoying a sunny day at the park. Despite his exquisite suit and the impressive sword he gave off a surprisingly relaxed vibe. He was the epitome of 'likeable' - which was odd for someone who might as well have been sent to decapitate Gokudera.
And the way he saw it he was about to place his life in the hands of that man. It might not have been the most stupid thing Gokudera had ever done but it definitely made it into the top ten.
"I swear, if you try anything... kinky...," Gokudera wasn't sure how to threaten a man with a sword, so he left that to the guy's imagination.
The stranger laughed. "You're safe with me. Don't worry."
Gokudera scowled but brought the cup to his lips. It was cold. He hadn't even noticed that. He took a sip, almost sputtering clear liquid all over the place. It wasn't coffee either.
"Yuck," Gokudera grimaced, "what the fuck is that? Tastes like shi-"
'Shit' was the word he'd been looking for. But he never found it on account of blacking out.
---
Gokudera woke up perched on a massive armchair in a dimly-lit room. He tried to move but quickly realised that he'd been tied down. Thick bands of tape crisscrossed all over his torso. Handcuffs held his wrists together.
Admittedly, he was beginning to get sick of waking up in dark places, tied to things. It was getting old.
"You're awake. Good."
Gokudera peered into the shadows on the opposite side of the small coffee table. His eyes were starting to adjust to the poor lighting but all he could make out was a slightly darker shadow that might or might not have been a human being. The tone of voice suggested he was talking to a man. He had a heavy accent; vaguely Asian, if Gokudera were forced to guess.
"Who the fuck are you?" Gokudera demanded immediately. He had never been known for his polite manners.
"I say you are hardly in the position to ask rude questions." There was movement in the shadows. Something in the way the man spoke made Gokudera think of old generals - used to giving orders and having them obeyed without hesitation. Gokudera did not deal well with authority.
"I'm gonna be rude until you tell me what position I'm in." Gokudera scowled and if he hadn't been restrained he would have crossed his arms in front of his chest in defiance.
"You were brought here because I have a proposition for you." Footsteps indicated that the man was coming towards Gokudera. They were slow, deliberate and precise, as if his captor was taking extra care to make his heels click on the concrete floor.
The stranger stepped into the pool of light that surrounded the table. He was wearing a traditional yukata but somehow he managed to wear it like a suit. It should have been impossible with something that was basically a glorified bathrobe in Gokudera's opinion but it looked strangely imposing.
"You can tell me all about that after you've told me where my sister is," Gokudera snarled as the man carefully arranged himself on the couch on the other side of the table. There was something in his movements that screamed familiarity to Gokudera but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.
"Your sister is fine." The man didn't smile. It was almost as if his face didn't even possess the necessary muscles. He appeared to be in his fifties and Gokudera had definitely been right with his guess about the man's origins.
"Not an answer." Gokudera leaned back as best as he could to make it clear that any further negotiations were futile unless he got some proper information on Bianchi's whereabouts.
The man arched an eyebrow and all the alarm bells in Gokudera's head went off. He just couldn't say why.
"You demand a lot for someone tied to a chair," the man concluded coldly.
"Untie me and see if I get better at listening." Gokudera raised his chin in an open challenge. He doubted that he would get very far if he tried to run. Besides, they both wanted something from the respective other - they were merely in the process of setting the terms. A little give and take was required.
The man regarded him like some sort of precarious chemical experiment but then seemed to decide that Gokudera was unlikely to explode. He made a curt gesture towards someone behind Gokudera.
Well, that was unsettling. Until now Gokudera hadn't even realised anybody else was in the room. He soon found out why when he twisted his head to see who his kidnapper's little helper was.
The young guy from the coffee shop gave him a brilliant smile. It contradicted strongly with the sword he was pulling from its sheath on his back. He twirled it twice in one hand, the blade a silent silvery blur.
Show-off. Gokudera rolled his eyes at the action. Hibari did that sometimes too. He mainly did it because it was a much cooler way to adjust his grip on the tonfa than fumbling with both hands. It was accidentally impressive.
Gokudera was jerked out of his thoughts by a katana coming down mere inches from his face. He didn't even have time to flinch, which was probably a good thing. Otherwise he might have been missing an arm now.
The blade sliced neatly through the tape binding him. It never even touched Gokudera's jacket.
"There. I assume you are willing to cooperate now?" Gokudera's opposite waved the young swordsman away who vanished with a short nod and another one of those smiles that oozed inappropriate happiness all over the place. The creepy part was that he seemed to downright melt into the darkness; as if he'd never even been there.
Gokudera stared at the spot where he he'd lost sight of the man, wiggling uncomfortably in his seat. No retreating footsteps - so either he was still in the room or he was wearing sound-absorbing slippers. Possibly with bunnies on them. Gokudera shuddered at either of these thoughts.
He returned his gaze to the swordsman's boss and held up his handcuffed hands: "You forgot something."
There was a blink-and-you'll-miss-it smile. "You have a reputation. Some safety measures are in order, I think."
Gokudera decidedly did not grin proudly. His chest might have swelled a little though. "Yeah. I pick locks. Bad choice, if you ask me."
"Can you also pick swords?" The man nodded towards the darkness. There was definitely a smile on his face now and Gokudera did not like its wicked undertones.
He swallowed and refrained from casting a look over his shoulder. For all he could tell this sword-wielding dork was easily on par with Hibari. He had absolutely no desire to put that theory to a test.
"Alright." Gokudera sat back, "I'm listening."
"Good," the man ascertained. "As for your question: your sister is in Italy. She is unharmed but we are... watching her. Very closely."
Yeah, through the scope of a fucking rifle, you bastards, Gokudera thought and it took all of his self-control not to flip this guy the bird and beat the everloving fuck out of him for threatening Bianchi.
Gokudera's hands curled into fists in his lap. He was pretty sure his conversational partner noticed but it didn't seem to bother him.
"I get it," Gokudera spat. "If I don't do what you want my sister is going to have 'an unfortunate accident', right?"
The man didn't reply but his expression was answer enough. It was funny because until now Gokudera had been sure that there was only one person on this planet who was able to convey so much with so little facial muscle movement.
"Okay," Gokudera sighed, "what do you want?"
His opposite offered him a thin smile that was one part satisfaction and two parts superiority. Gokudera ignored it. He'd seen this kind of smile before and it never ceased to grate on his nerves.
"Tea?"
"What?" Gokudera stared at the stranger.
"Business is best discussed over tea. Have some."
Have some. Not 'Would you like some?' or 'How about some tea?', no. That wasn't a question, this was a freaking order. The man clicked his fingers and a moment later the swordsman emerged with a tray.
"I don't want your fucking tea," Gokudera snapped as the young man sat down two delicate cups and a teapot, "I want to know what's going on and be done with it."
"Hold your tongue," the boss said calmly while pouring them some tea, "or Kaneda here will cut it off."
Gokudera took a deep breath to unleash a tirade of assorted variations of the f-word onto his captor but he stopped instantly when he felt something cold and sharp against his throat. That was... unexpected. He hadn't even noticed 'Kaneda' drawing his sword.
However, Gokudera figured he would witness it first hand when Kaneda used it. He would miss his tongue. Hibari would miss his tongue. So he kept his mouth shut and tried not to move too much.
"I see we understand each other." The older man picked up his cup and took a tiny sip before waving the swordsman off into the shadows. With a small zing noise the steel warning was gone, as was its wielder. Seriously, this guy was beginning to give Gokudera the creeps. Nobody could exude this level of happiness while threatening to cut off somebody's head. Except, of course, if that person was a complete and utter madman.
Gokudera considered this the most likely option. But at least he could stop calling the guy 'sword idiot' in his head now.
"I want you to do what you do best, Gokudera-kun." The man put down his cup, nudging it around until the intricate design of a bird was facing Gokudera’s way, and gave him a knowing look. "I want you to steal something."
Gokudera wasn't listening. He was staring at the cup. He knew one person, and one person only who was OCD enough to care which way the print on a freaking tea cup was pointing. What were the odds of two people having the exact same quirk? Well, it wasn't entirely impossible, Gokudera figured but there were other clues as well. The hair, the sharp eyes, the precise, effective movements, never more than needed but enough to get the point across.
This couldn't possibly be a coincidence.
"Oh fuck. You're his father." Gokudera gaped at the man. It took him a moment to realise his mistake.
Gokudera closed his eyes and silently counted to ten, hoping that when he was done he would still be alive. "I just said that out loud, didn't I?"
"Indeed you did," Hibari's father noted calmly. "But don't worry. I know that you are... involved with my son. While I can't approve of his personal tastes he is still my son. He must not know about any of this. Are we clear?"
Gokudera swallowed and nodded carefully. He wasn't sure how to tell Hibari about this incident anyway. Something told him that Hibari wouldn't appreciate a conversation starting with: 'Hey, I met your dad today. Nice chap. Bit on the creepy side but now we know where you got that from.'
"At least that takes care of the rumours at work," Gokudera mumbled once he had processed the initial shock.
Hibari senior arched an eyebrow and Gokudera sighed, gesturing vaguely. "They think he's the prototype of a military experiment in bionics."
Hibari's dad seemed to consider this for a moment but then shook his head. "That's ridiculous."
"That's exactly what he said." Gokudera frowned. "Literally, exactly what he said."
"Well, I think that's enough talk about my family," the elder Hibari commanded in a tone that suggested any more comments on this topic would be cut down in a very physical sense. "Back to my initial proposal. I need you to steal something for me."
"You do realise that I'm wearing an electronic anklet and work for the FBI, right?"
Hibari's father shot him a glance that clearly indicated that this was no news to him and would Gokudera please shut the hell up?
"I did notice that, yes. You'll have to find a way around that."
It was fortunate that Gokudera hadn't touched the tea yet because he would have sputtered it all over the table right about now. "How the hell do you expect me to pull off a heist with your son constantly looking over my shoulder? During my fucking toilet break?"
His conversational partner gave him a look that brought to mind chop-chop motions, a big-ass sword and various non-essential yet beloved bodyparts. "Have you ever wished to be an only child?"
Actually, on occasion he had but this appeared to be a rhetorical question. Gokudera threw his hands up in defeat. "Fine, I'll try my best."
"I expect nothing less."
Gokudera rolled his eyes. The Hibari family obviously shared a common misconception: that everything always went their way. It would have been so much more amusing if they weren't proven right most of the time.
"Are you gonna tell me what I'm stealing or do I have to figure that out myself?" Gokudera grumbled.
"Your target will be Neuberg BioChem. Kaneda will assist you. He will fill you in on the details."
"Wait, wait, wait...," Gokudera frowned. That name definitely rang a bell. He'd seen it somewhere before. "Of course! That's one of the companies employing Gilbert's algorithm. Wait, that means-"
Gokudera gaped at Hibari's father, who sat there like a monument - immovable and not at all impressed, "- the break-in at that video game company... that was you?"
Hibari senior refused to acknowledge this but he hummed quietly while sipping on his tea which was as much confirmation as Gokudera would ever get.
Gokudera sat back. "You know, next time you should just get a hacker. Your guys did a piss-poor job there."
Hibari's father nodded. "I can't argue that. That's why it was their last job."
Somehow his tone of voice made the word 'last' sound like a heavy concrete block dropping into the ocean - possibly with some human feet in it.
Gokudera tried to ignore the mental image. "Okay, so... what the hell could you want from a biochemistry firm?"
"I don't recall this being any of your business."
"I'm supposed to steal it, so I gotta know what it is, old m-," he stopped himself before he could insult the only other being on earth who could force people into committing suicide simply by glaring at them. He firmly pressed his lips together to keep his loose tongue from worsening his situation.
Hibari the elder seemed to appreciate the gesture. He smiled almost amicably, which was probably the scariest facial expression he had yet to exhibit. "It will be revealed to you when I see fit. For now, all you need to know is that it is hardly larger than this teapot."
Gokudera eyed the teapot. His mind was already racing, going through all the objects that might be worth stealing at such a company. He highly doubted they were after genetically enhanced tea leaves though.
"Kaneda will provide you with anything you need. That will be all." With a wave of his hand Hibari's father summoned the swordsman out of nowhere. "Have some tea before you go. It's a special blend."
Gokudera grimaced. The last time he'd had a 'special blend' he'd ended up tied to a chair. He watched the older Hibari gracefully stand up. The man gestured towards Gokudera's cup. "It was not an offer, Gokudera-kun. Drink it."
"I was afraid you might say that," Gokudera mumbled but picked up the cup anyway. Between a headache and death by sword he chose the former.
"One last question before you leave," Hibari's father suddenly turned around, already half-vanished into the dark, "does he... does he sometimes speak of me?"
Gokudera was startled by the hesitation in the old man's voice. That was a 180° turn in attitude. The sad thing was that Gokudera knew from personal experience that father-son relationships didn't always work both ways. "No, not really. The last time a conversation veered off in that direction I spent the night at the hospital with a concussion."
For some reason, that produced a small, oddly proud smile on the elder Hibari's face. He didn't say anything else, just gave a curt nod and disappeared. It made Gokudera wonder if all Hibaris were like this. They probably even had their dogs trained in various martial arts. Ninja-dogs; it seemed horribly plausible.
"Gokudera?" Kaneda asked tentatively when Gokudera didn't move. "The tea. Please."
He smiled broadly, beckoning for Gokudera to drink.
"Do I have to? Can't you just fucking blindfold me or something?"
Kaneda gave a tingling laugh, bright and open and not at all like someone whose main occupation was lurking in the shadows and slicing off important limbs. "I'm sorry. Boss's orders. But don't worry, I'll get you back safe and sound."
He grinned so widely Gokudera almost feared his head would split in two. Strangely enough, Gokudera believed him. He also made a mental note to get an MRI exam because that was not a natural reaction towards someone holding a sword.
"Shit." Gokudera sighed and took a gulp from the now lukewarm tea. "God, this stuff doesn't get any better if you put it in tea. Do me a favour, next time your boss wants to hold a meeting? Just hit me around the h-"
The effect would have been the same - blacking out was blacking out.
~*~*~
Chapter 2 <-- Back to | On to --> Chapter 4